i have wept over ...
i have wept over last week'sblog. the courage to bare my soul.not to bring people to the edge, butto allow others to know the imper-fections of life that no one usuallytalks about. we hide behind theshame. the fears of what otherswill think.my son gave me his permissionto do that blog. let me tell youwhat has happened. one of hisbrothers found out about his painwhere he lives out-of-state, andcalled him. i want you to come live with me.my apartment has two bedrooms,and one is for you. what will it take?how quickly can i get you here, bro?beautiful. magnificent.

most people think...
most people think my childrenare perfect. straight a students.deeply devoted to Jesus. soulwinners. life changers. you know.walking perfection. but somehow, under will's and mywatch, we didn't get all the piecesjust right. missed things. even whenwe thought we were doing our verybest because, next to Jesus, weloved our four sons more than theroar of the ocean or all the wondersof the world. in an instant, we wouldhave given our lives for them.

i only know the d...
i only know the dying heart needsthe nourishment of memoryto live beyond too many winters.rod mckuen winter.frigid hearts.dry wind blowing ourdreams and hope acrossthe hardened, cold earth offutility. miracles gone.frozen. and our heartsshrivel. hope withered.the ache and blasts of life. i've been in a very toughfinancial place. i havetwo banks. calling, i foundi had $120 in one, plus $200in savings. trembling, i droveacross town to my other bank.the one that REALLY matters.where my car insurance andgym automatically

"blessed are not ...
"blessed are not the enlightenedwhose every question has beenanswered and who are delighted withtheir own sublime insight....blessed,rather, are the chased, the harassedwho must daily stand before my enigmas and cannot solve them."one of my sons called tonight.crying. sitting outside in the snowwhere he lives. i'm the only one who worksin this apartment, mom. every day.a lot of pressure. i go to the food bank.get the food for everyone who hangsout at our house. two of my friends arehaving sex on my bed right now whilei sit in wet snow.and his tears flowed.

"i'm brennan. i'm...
"i'm brennan. i'm an alcoholic.how i got there, why i went back, is the story of my life.i'm brennan. i'm a catholicis not the whole story.i'm brennan. i was a priest but no longer.i'm brennan. i'm a sinner, saved by grace.only God, in His fury, knows the whole of it."brennan manning