Day Sixty Nine of 100 – Get me out of here!
Day two of the final full IVF cycle in our quest to chase our little miracle - 125 iu's FSH There is a dark cloud of self pity and loathing hanging around my head and i need to escape it, i need to see the sunshine again, i need to wake from this nightmare once more.  I need to know that i am okay, that i will be okay, i need to know that i am not a failer, i need to know that someones hand is going to reach down any second now and pull me from this deep hole i have dug myself into. i look forward to the day when this is but a bad dream, and i look forward to the day when i can look back at myself and laugh.  I cant wait until this becomes a jour

Day Sixty Eight of 100 – I learnt a valuable lesson today
Day two of the final full IVF cycle in our quest to chase our little miracle I learnt something that i will never forget today. Over the past year, i have learnt alot, but i think today i will take away the most important lesson that can be learnt in ones life. I learnt that my pain, is not just my pain anymore, i now understand that my pain is my sisters pain too. I thought that i was the only one that could cry and hurt from places so deep that i never thought i would stop.  I thought that i was the only one who could feel as confused as i do and i thought i was the only one that didnt understand why this was happening to me, the o

Day Sixty Seven of 100 – The final 33 days in our quest to chase our little miracle…
With just 33 inspiring days to go, i have only a few small words for tonight... Today is day one of the final full IVF cycle in our quest to chase our little miracle. This year has certainly been tough, i have been through more than i could have ever imagined, the emotions i have felt have been to the absolute extremes, and i dont think i could handle another year like that.  I keep thinking that if i stop and if i give up i wont be able to find happiness, but i know deep down that that is a lie. This year my husband and i have learnt so much, and grown so much in our relationship, so much so that i would never ever ever say that this journey was not worth it.  I h

Day Sixty Six of 100 – Confusion is a curse
To my dearest little miracle, I am so confused right now i am not sure what to do, your father and i think we may have decided that this is the last time we will chase you.  Our minds are exhausted from all this turmoil and anguish, we are not even sure that doing this one last time is the right thing to do, but i dont think i am ready yet to give in yet, to say good bye to you.

Day Sixty Five of 100 – I am thankful for…
I'm not sure why, but where i live we do not celebrate thanksgiving.  I dont know the reason behind the holiday, nor do i know the history, but i understand the meaning in the title, and i understand that for many today is the day where they reflect on what they have and what they are thankful for. Yesterday my dream of becoming a mommy was taken away from me once more