Random Thoughts
Random thought #1:The past week has gone really well food and exercise wise. I have dropped 7 of the extra 10 pounds, so 3 to go back to my low! And then, the 230's! I was sitting here trying to think about what the difference was, what clicked and made me eat less/better when I realized it wasn't so much that something clicked but that I started to care again. Woohoo Prozac. I still feel kind of in a fog and everything still feels gray but gray is better than black, right? I now realize that those months when I couldn't get my head in the game and was eating whatever I wanted it was because I just didn't care, it wasn't important to me anymore which really means I

I'm Trying!
That darn depression monster just won't let go. Seriously, I see that little orange monster dude from the weight watchers commercial when I say that. Things are better but I don't feel back to normal if that makes sense. I've kind of been in a fog and I'm not sure if that's the depre

Battling the Big Bad Monster
I've suffered from depression for years. I was diagnosed in my early twenties after years of fighting it on my own. I developed generalized anxiety on top of the depression and that's what finally convinced me I needed help. Anyone with an anxiety disorder knows how debilitating it can be. For those who don't I'll give you a quick peak into what it was like. I would leave for work and get in the car. While driving to work I would worry about whether or not I locked the door to the house, repeatedly. Sometimes I would have to turn around and check. I'd worry about my dog and if she was OK while I was gone. Was she barking? Could the neighbors hear? Would they complain? Would we get in troubl

Derek
Several months ago a message popped up in my Facebook inbox. It was from someone named Derek Torres. Derek, it turns out was friends with my ex brother in law and sister. My ex BIL, Lee, told Derek about my upcoming lapband surgery and Derek sent me a message. Derek and I quickly became friends and often exchanged messages. I soon learned that Derek, who lived in Paris, was pursuing gastric bypass surgery. He had a lot of questions about what I had gone through here in the states and was interested in comparing the process. Derek was a funny guy and his emails always made me smile. Derek was a husband and father to three young children and he wanted to be better for them. He wanted

Detox
Food addicition SUCKS. I'm not sure how many of you out there have ever been addicted to something and tried to quit but UGH. The past month and half?? (maybe more) I have not been able to control my eating. Seriously I feel like some little monster scarfing down food like it's the last thing I'll ever eat. Today I am detoxing. I started my day with a slim fast shake and plan to have another for lunch and another for dinner. In between maybe some sugar free jello, broth, sugar free popsicles, etc. I NEED to spend a few days on liquids and get all this crap out of my body and get my head back in the game. Why is food so powerful over me? I turn to it for comfort. When I