Why Are You Going To Do Morrissey Like That?
A few weeks ago, Morrissey broke down and passed out on stage at a gig in Swindon. Well, at a show in Liverpool last night, someone tried to break down a plastic bottle of beer on Morrissey's head. Instead of whooping that trick with the mic, Morrissey quit that bitch by walking offstage. Morrissey was only two songs into his set and he refused to continue the show. A few minutes after he said walked off, an announcement was made that the show was officially over. Morrissey doesn't play like that. You know how I feel about wasting the sweet nectar that the gods have so generously given us. That's one thi

Now This Is Some Shit I'd Pay To See
In case you missed it, here's the Twilight parody that aired on Saturday Night Live last night starring Taylor Swift and Bill Hader (who became one with RPattz's "I'm trying to take a poo through my peen hole" face) Taylor isn't about to win an Oscar for triumphing as Lady Macbeth anytime soon, but that's why she almost nailed Kristen Stewart as Bella. Well, in order to completely perfect her impersonation of Bella, Taylor would've needed to get a lobotomy with a cardboard box, but she still mastered Kristen's lip chewing and hair tucking. For real, how is it possible that

Sammy Sosa Is Not Trying To Be Michael Jackson
One of Sammy Sosa's friends has come out to defend him after a picture of him looking like he's on step 3 of "Michael Jackson's Guide to Beauty" started making people talking. Rebecca Polihronis, a former Cubs employee who talks to Sosa all the time, told the Chicago Sun-Times that he's in the process of going through a laser treatment to his skin after spending years playing in the sun. Rebecca said, "He's not trying to be Michael Jackson. He is going through a rejuvenatio

Like Genitals To A Hot Ginge
At a rugby match in London yesterday, Chelsy Davy tried to keep her rekindled relationship with Prince Hot Ginge on the down low by sitting apart from him, but we all know that's pretty much impossible. It didn't take long for Chelsy's vagina to gravitate toward the ginge. Chelsy's private parts slid over to him, throwing the dude between them out of his seat. They spent the rest of the match together. Chelsy whispered spicy nothings into Ginge's ear while he spent his time thinking about me doing a sessy dance in nothing but a thong that says "GINGE ONLY ZONE" on the crotch. That explains why he has such a grim look on his face. I was readin

Hot Sluts Of The Day!
Samantha Newark & Britta Phillips - The VOICES of one of the most important characters in history: JEM (insert a trillion sparkly exclamation points here). Samantha (on the left) was the talking voice of Jem/Jerrica and Britta was her singing voice. Together they created the greatest performer since Liberace. The truth is, Pizzazz was the one I felt a bond with since she was...well...the bitch. But without Jem!, there could be no Pizzazz, so she is a very important. If you grew up in the 80s or you're gay, you have to have a favorite Jem! song and mine is