Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi: The most hideous thing humans have ever created
Having spent more time lately in the U.S., one thing has become abundantly clear - Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi is the nastiest beverage ever created. If ever there was a product that proved that American ingenuity is dead, it's Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi.My theory on how Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi was created is that someone was wandering the desert in the Southwest, stumbled across an ancient spittoon, took the ingredients from said spittoon, re-liquefied it, added a tiny amount of carbonation, and then started selling it.If Rocky 6 was a carbonated beverage, it would be Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi -- all

Jesus Christ quits Christianity after viewing Republican platform
(With today's GOP, I feel like this post - originally posted Sept. 2008 - never stops being topical.)   For years, Jesus Christ had kept quiet while his “followers” had killed and committed horrendous acts of intolerance in his name. They were the “birth pangs” of a new religion, his surrogates would say. One day he would be accepted by all as a liberator. But in an announcement that has left his followers shaken, the Christ himself h

You Can't Hate Government and Love the Constitution
It's probably a fool's errand to make attempts at parsing the paranoid, hysterical rhetorc that's been flying around in the healthcare debate, but that's never stopped me before.  So, I'm watching the fun on C-SPAN this afternoon.  Listening to some of the "against" calls, I noticed something that I probably should have noticed before, which is this: The bizarre dichotomy of professing your undying love for the Constitution, while breathlessly spewing venom at the fundamental evil of the government. Folks, I have to tell you that I love you very much for your dogged support of the Constitution.  I'm with you.  I believe that it's been a net positive for humanity despite its fl

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!
Dammit, I want my country back. I want my freedom-loving, free country with it's free people fighting for their freedom back. Now. Because Paul Revere loved FREEDOM. And also, Martin Luther King. Because he was free. Well, once he got out of jail he was. FREEDOM!! Freedom is important and we should all fight against those people who want to take away our freedom. In fact, I'm going to go out and protest against people who hate freedom. Just as soon as check a few things off of my to-do list. For instance, I have to buy a gun on the internet. Then, I have to write a letter that will most likely be published in my local newspaper about why I will go all REVOLUTIONARY on anybody who hat

Persecution Politics: Nazi Fever
One of the recent propaganda tactics of the right wing has been to appropriate the leftist language of discrimination and civil rights to argue that liberal elites are persecuting white Christian conservatives. The most extreme form of this tactic is the Nazi attack, according to which liberals are portrayed as Nazis or fascists in order to represent them as brutal oppressors of helpless conservative victims. Commentators on the right have revised history to represent fascism as a leftist movement. They have invented or exaggerated associations between Democrats and Nazis. They have belabored the slightest similarities between Nazi doctrine and liberalism. And they have darkly hinted at