gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in my mouth

it's all for you

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly

Brother, if I had a brother...
You say you're going to make it through one way or another. You're not drinking enough water, you put your fur coat in the back closet. You look back on your life & the speeches you've given yourself when you stood next to the dresser & you were crying crying crying. Sobbing maybe. Maybe.He was a good man, he took the kids for ice cream, he let the neighborhood stay for dinner.They were good people & I watched them & compared my own to theirs & could I have an ice cream cone too?If I pick the clothes up off the floor & use my fingers to point around can we be like that too? Can we? Or should I just think about myself?Post

we'll have to settle for Chicago, Chicago. I've got ten bucks to my name.
So I really have no choice but to graduate and try and make New York a bearable place until I do so. I wish I would have picked a more affordable city. But there were reasons that at one point I loved New York and maybe I can try and find them again?I only have a few friends these  days and I miss having best friends and a close tight knit circle. That (like all things) is no one's fault but my own, but it still sucks. I'm lonely. I miss Ilana, I miss Nick, I miss Alex. It's okay everyone is only 1,000-3,000 miles away :(Someone told me that Oprah was canceling her show and well what a horrible person to say some

oh lover, anything you wanna do.
I like the commercials where the mom has the coupons to buy the groceries, where she holds them between her chubby fingers &sends the old man home with leftovers. And the old man is so happy. I want to touch his glasses and give him leftovers, too. I've been looking up recipes in fancy magazines &then trying to make them just like it says. I burned the butter, I took the smoke detector off of the wall. I interviewed roommates. Young women &men that say they want to live here cuz and then something about New York City in their eyes. My phone texts me itself to tell me how many people died in the shooting and then I watch the doctor shows and more people die

call the cops when you see tupac
I kind of want to start a new blog and write myself through things. Or maybe I will just write in this blog and write myself "through" things. Like, hey you are alive, look at you type stuff. Right now I'm wearing an apron that I got in Portland and making a pineapple upside down cake for my neighbor who has a bday tomorrow. Little old ladies &the girls that sadly bake for them. Man, I do feel sad though. These last few days I wake up searching the bed with my fingers. What will I do after I really graduate? What will I do and do I care? I don't know. I don't know. I kind of want to teach after I graduate just bec

don't forget me.
Won't it be nice to be anything, even if you only want to be one thing? I like the left coast more than the right coast. Can I really say that after two and a half decades vs. ten days? Sure. I can mean it too, guys. I'm currently into: airports, seasons, cars, sleeping, waking up early, elaborate &repetitive breakfasts, plastic cup recordings, instax instead of polaroids, giving dogs bones, giving dogs red vines, halloween candy, my side of the beds, rosary beads, aprons, fur coats, green moleskines, lemon theraflu, beauty magazines, self-help book, stories about grandparents, leaves leaves leaves leaves leaves leaves leaves changing colorrrrrrI'm run