Cheetos Are Bad For Me

The Chicken or The Egg

Some Suggestions For Santa

Sometimes I Am As Sappy As the Next Mommy Blogger
Darling ChunkyMonkey, Today you are 1. The nurses christened you ChunkyMonkey when you were born, with your 9 pounds of cuteness and great skill in nursing. You are not really chunky, but solid and definitely a good eater. The monkey part, however, is apt. You remind me of Curious George. You love to know what’s inside of everything and you want to touch it all yourself. You are the only child of mine to take an interest in the water in the toilet and to try to eat dirt. If there’s an open door, you want to go through it. If there’s something new to see, you want to see it up close. And how your face lights up when something makes you happy. It̵

Yet Another Reason I Probably Don’t Belong in the Suburbs
Leaves. Specifically, leaves that have fallen. Onto the ground. All over people’s pristine lawns. I like them there. I especially like them there when the alternative is for some a**hole with a leafblower to spend an afternoon blowing them into the street. Where they pile up, only occasionally getting picked up by the town. My parents’ town is the worst, which is odd considering that I think they pay the highest taxes in the county. Anyway, leaves are blown into the street, leaving precious lawns unlittered – but causing cars to slide on them after rains, blocking storm drains and just generally making driving kind of hazardous. Though

The Images In My Head
I don’t think my family is good at fun. Last night was the “Family Fun” night at the kids’ preschool. Hot Guy had to work, so I decided that ChunkyMonkey should stay at home with my mom, 2 kids being enough for one tired woman to keep track of at a gathering filled with sugar and small children. Of course Ironflower was drawn to the painting activity like moth to flame. . .which meant that I spent a lot of the evening cleaning blue paint off of her costume. And Lovebug hated the noise. He ran into classmates, but they were all shy with each other (as opposed to how they’d been at the hay ride the day before) and overwhelmed by the crowd.

And It’s Over
What happened to the liberal media elite . . .and how can we get them to come back? Hell, at this point, I’ll even take a conservative media elite. I’d just like the word “elite” to come back to the news. Remember when news shows and newspapers were informative and the talking heads were kinda boring? Remember when they used fact checkers and didn’t just insult each other? It’s a vague memory for me too, actually. But at least a few years ago I didn’t have to hear the Headline News anchor repeat what Clark in Louisiana thinks. And then beg me to send in my own comments. Look, if I want to know what the “average&#

My Secret Shame
Levi Johnston. Deflowerer of a former governor’s daughter. Teenage father. Hunter. That’s about all I know about Levi, despite having read several lengthy interviews with him. Oh, and he’s going to be appearing in Playgirl soon (did you know that magazine was still being published online? I didn’t). I really want to see that Playgirl. Because I think he’s hot. Sure, he pretty much stands for everything I hate – fame for nothing, ignorance, Palin Republicans – and sure, he seems pretty dumb (I’ve  read the interviews, remember). And yes, I think he’s somewhere around half my age (which I find icky, even if most me