Cheetos Are Bad For Me

The Chicken or The Egg

Some Suggestions For Santa

Free Is Good. . .Especially When You Forget To Plan Ahead
I have a website. Some of you are doubtlessly thinking, “No kidding, I’m reading it.” But I’m not talking about this. Because while I have finally gotten my own domain (and really, that was more complicated than it should have been. I’m still afraid to upgrade, for example), this is just a blog. Albeit a cool one. (Now that I have a website I can finally use the  word albeit without sounding pretentious. Right? ). But now thanks to Microsoft Office Live, I have ANOTHER website. A real one that can have all kinds of pages on and do things like merge with Microsoft Office stuf

This Post Has No Main Idea
I like to call myself a realist. Some might say “cynical bitch”, but those people also might say “I think The Bachelor helps people find true love”, so really, who cares what they think? Anyway, I really soured on romance thanks to my ex-husband, who was a great one for romantic gestures and also for being a total selfish asshole, but even as a child I wondered how an abused maid like Cinderella would get along with a prince’s family. I’m always looking for the dark backstory, and generally there is one. Let’s take Chastity Bono – er, I mean Chas Bono – shall we? When I was a little girl in the ’70’s, I wat

Sometimes I Am As Sappy As the Next Mommy Blogger
Darling ChunkyMonkey, Today you are 1. The nurses christened you ChunkyMonkey when you were born, with your 9 pounds of cuteness and great skill in nursing. You are not really chunky, but solid and definitely a good eater. The monkey part, however, is apt. You remind me of Curious George. You love to know what’s inside of everything and you want to touch it all yourself. You are the only child of mine to take an interest in the water in the toilet and to try to eat dirt. If there’s an open door, you want to go through it. If there’s something new to see, you want to see it up close. And how your face lights up when something makes you happy. It̵

Yet Another Reason I Probably Don’t Belong in the Suburbs
Leaves. Specifically, leaves that have fallen. Onto the ground. All over people’s pristine lawns. I like them there. I especially like them there when the alternative is for some a**hole with a leafblower to spend an afternoon blowing them into the street. Where they pile up, only occasionally getting picked up by the town. My parents’ town is the worst, which is odd considering that I think they pay the highest taxes in the county. Anyway, leaves are blown into the street, leaving precious lawns unlittered – but causing cars to slide on them after rains, blocking storm drains and just generally making driving kind of hazardous. Though

The Images In My Head
I don’t think my family is good at fun. Last night was the “Family Fun” night at the kids’ preschool. Hot Guy had to work, so I decided that ChunkyMonkey should stay at home with my mom, 2 kids being enough for one tired woman to keep track of at a gathering filled with sugar and small children. Of course Ironflower was drawn to the painting activity like moth to flame. . .which meant that I spent a lot of the evening cleaning blue paint off of her costume. And Lovebug hated the noise. He ran into classmates, but they were all shy with each other (as opposed to how they’d been at the hay ride the day before) and overwhelmed by the crowd.