7 Great Products for Telling the World You’re a Rich Prick
New article up on Cracked in which I help you to loathe rich people even more than you already do by showcase extravagant cat weddings, $12,000 erotic massages…for your car and a half million dollar dog house with retinal scanner security and 50-inch plasma TV. You’re welcome, collapse of society. Digg it.

Clash of the Titans Tag-line: The Future of Advertising?
Will you remember where you were the day the world changed? No not when a free and bountiful energy source was found. Not when we cured AIDS (well actually we didn’t cure it, we just tweaked it so now when you get AIDS all that happens is you gain the power to shoot laser beams out of your genitals!) We’re talking a real earth shattering, epochal event. Well, pull up your pants and take a seat, because that day is today, for today is the day movie advertising got R

How to Recognize Comedy
We all crave a chuckle now and then, but most of us chose to receive our larfs in safe venues like open mike comedy clubs or your local college improvisational team.  Why limit your yuks to these rare and controlled occasions when comedy is all around us?  Comedy is, after all, nothing more than a common situation with surprising or unexpected results.  I myself have an uncanny knack for recognizing comedy in daily existence.  Allow me to present some recent situations I found myself in to illustrate how to spot c

How I Write – a drunken, violent, yelling-filled guide to the aspiring writer
Legend had it Hemmingway kept witty comebacks and bon mots in his moustache just in case he'd need them. As a tremendously successful novelist (and beloved personality), I have a very specific routine for when I to write. I’ve often found a routine helps trigger the “artist’s mentality” in one’s brain. I’ve transcribed the lecture I normal

A Special Environmental Message from Mr. T
I Pity the Fool Who Wastes Paper Hey sucka. That’s right, this is Mr. T. Yeah, I still exist. Mr. T’s taking a break from pitying fools and looking for paying work to yell at you about sustainability. What, you don’t think Mr. T knows about sustainability? Then you don’t know Mr. T. Here is some other stuff you don’t know about Mr. T: • Many folk believe Mr. T’s name “B.A.” on the A-Team stands for Bad Attitude. It doesn’t. It stands for “Bees and Ants.” Mr. T thought his character should have the secret power to control bees and an