Nobody Needs Their Pills On The Holidays...
Save your Paxil pill, your Zoloft, your Lexapro today. It's the holiday. A day of joy. Just ask my neighbor. Yesterday he despised me. Tomorrow he'll hate me more. But today... today he loves me. And he didn't need his pill to show it. Actually, most people are overly polite on a holiday. Ever notice? A woman who normally hates my dog saw me walking her today and smiled. It was a smile filled with hope and joy that you only see 3-4 times a year on a major American/"Christian" holiday. Forgive me for being cynical, but I know that b*tch is gonna

Kiss Me, I'm Not Irish
I am sitting here thinking about what it would be like to be Irish around March.Man, it just isn't fair that even though my parents grew up in the Irish Channel of New Orleans I am half Cajun French, a quarter Sicilian and a quarter Italian (scary combo, I know).I mean, why don't I get to have a million beautiful women kiss me in March, just because I am not, say Irish?Do you have any answers for this?I am thinking of contacting the ACLU for discrimination against Cajun French, Sicilian/Italian people not getting to make out on the streets during a parade.I mean, I could start a movement called, "Cuddle me, I'm Cajun, " or one called "Sit down and pay attention

Why is it always a power struggle to change lanes while driving?
Are you the douchebag (not in an anti-feminist use of the word: it's a stupid name for a stupid product. probably concocted by a stupid man.) who won't let me over even though I've been using my turn signal and staring at you for the last 7 minutes?You're so cool.Not.Why is it seen as a form of weakness to use your turn signal? I used to ponder this. Then I realized that in order to switch lanes (at least in Pittsburgh, PA) you have to forego the turn signal, step on the accelerator and force your way in front of the passive-aggressive driver whocan't seem to differentiate between common courtesy, the rules of the road, and being taken a

What is it with Skinny Days?
I have a love/hate relationship with skinny days.I mean, after all, who doesn't want to feel skinnier than usual when they wake up the morning after eating a 15 course meal?After all, it is nice to be rewarded for bad behavior.However, it kind of sucks too, because then it makes you think that you can always have a 15 course meal and be skinny.But, then, you try it and you start having uncomfortable, bloated days instead of skinny days, so you start eating rigidly healthy again.But when you eat rigidly healthy, you have fat days, thus, causing you to contemplate what the hell you are doing wrong by eating healthy that is making you

Never Can Say Goodbye...
Have you ever felt a little violated by a text message that never seems to end?Let me just say that there are a lot of people out there who have way too much time on their hands.I blame the always competing phone companies. Sorta...I had this friend who only texted when absolutely necessary. Like during a fire or mugging. You know. One day she sent me a text that said "Hi". So I replied, "Hi". Then she said "Whatcha doin"? I replied, "Workin". Then she said, "How's it going"? To which I thought, "WTF", but said, "Ummmm, ok". Then she said something about her cats and I picked up the phone and said "You switched your text to unlimted, di