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The life and times of a single widowed mom.
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Maria Kintner
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I Lost You: My life after sudden death

English - Widow, Healing, Grief
http://mkintner.wordpress.com
I Lost You · 1M ago

In Memory of My Mother

I’ve written here before about the plight of my mother’s illness, and now, I write of her memory. Since this is a public grieving blog, I feel it is appropriate to memorialize her here, along with my husband Jon. My mother, Michaelina Bellamy, passed away Saturday morning from complications due to A
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I Lost You · 2M ago

3 am…

When I can’t sleep. When the wind is too loud outside my windows and I find myself indulging in someone else’s radio music…I think of you. I think of those nights when I wasn’t lonely because of you. I think of those times in the wee small hours, when we found breakfast and love across [...]
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I Lost You · 3M ago

Trust Me, You Don’t Want To Know…

I’m at a point in my grief where I don’t want to associate too much with my status. I know that sounds strange for a widow to admit, (and maybe it doesn’t), but I’m tired of having to tell people about it. I hate how awkward it makes things. I hate how I have to [...]
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I Lost You · 6M ago

Not quite done yet…

Once again, my subconscious or whatever was keenly aware that I had reached the halfway point between three years and four years. For whatever reason, things seem to happen at sixth month intervals for me. I don’t try to do this. It’s just how things tend to happen. Which meant that Thursday wasn’t
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I Lost You · 7M ago

I don’t understand it..

I suppose I never will. I can feel like I’m moving in a new direction, or letting go of all the painful things; only to quite suddenly miss him like he died just yesterday. And in the past week, he’s been back in my thoughts. I long for him in the morning when I wake [...]
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I Lost You · 7M ago

Shift

What do you do when the dust starts to settle? Do you clean it up and hope that nothing else makes a mess? I think that sometimes, I feel like I have to force perfection on every situation until it becomes out of joint and dramatic again. I don’t want to do that this time. [...]
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I Lost You · 8M ago

Happy Birthday Jonathan.

I’m anxious. Today/tomorrow – its your birthday. I keep waiting for something to happen. Like, I’ve been anticipating it for a week, now, and the truth is that it’s just another day. I know that I am grateful you were born, as I always am. But really, having to know that I can’t bake you [...]
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I Lost You · 1Y ago

Dear Jon…

This three-year mark passed very quietly. I didn’t make a huge spectacle of the third year of your passing. I didn’t plan an event or even write you a public letter, as I have done in the past. (until now, of course.) It’s not that I didn’t think of you. In fact, I think I [...]
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I Lost You · 1Y ago

Blip.

It’s important to point out that it happens, just like that. I’m talking about grief and how it can attack you at anytime, no matter how far away you are from Point A.  It can be so quick. I could be reading a book called Little Bee, and there is a character, and she is [...]
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I Lost You · 1Y ago

Five more days…

Weslee woke up with me this morning, and we were silent for a minute. I did what I always do, and read through my Twitter feed to help stimulate my brain  and wake up. (Don’t judge – it works) I read www.penmachine.com/2011/05/the-last-post and it choked me up. My favorite part was the last: “I love
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