i wish i had thicker skin-an excert
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| Blog Name: |
i wish i had thicker skin-an excert |
| Url: |
http://blog.myspace.com/asia_craig |
| Language: |
English |
| Topics: |
anger, hurt, depression |
| Description: |
As of now, I am filled with extreme anger and fury...I am tired of being disrespected, disregarded, and discarded by people....those I work with make me irate and agitated daily...some of whom I’ve considered friends and family are also part of the reason I am feeling the way I am feeling...For the first time in many years, I feel like hurting someone, not just by words, but physically...I am writing this to avoid such things. I don’t believe in physically harming people, but I feel as if I am getting very close to acting on it...I'm tired of being nothing but a doormat: I’ve been too damn easy going and always compromised my needs and feelings to please others...I am so angry that I could call, and write to those who I feel have wronged me and bless them out till kingdom come...What's wrong with me? What makes people think that I cannot hold my own? That I do not understand enough about anything that they feel they cannot confide with me? Or why do they feel the need to raise their voices at me? sorry that at times I get a bit confused and thrown off by some things-does not make me an imbecile...why is it that folks cut out, up and leave you behind after you have opened yourself to them-they know you're down and out, but can give goddamn about you-even though when shit got rough for them, you did what you could to be there-may not had much, but did whatever it was you could to support them, and see them through they're tumultuous predicaments?...that's the way of the world, I guess...if died, no one would give a goddamn...I took 4 aspirins and drank a whole bottle of beer, could not afford liquor...God, if I could, got more pills...I’ll fall asleep, never have to wake up to ya'll phonies ever again...I know how I am, I am very empathetic to other people and their issues-I don't asked people ":what's wrong, is everything okay with you?" to be nosy...if someone needed a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, or to be held, that's what I would do...why is it hard for folks to reach out to others? I’d be very glad if I got anything remotely like that...I feel like ending my life almost everyday...I feel as if my future is bleak...I am so confused about what to do, where will I be in the next few years? I never plan, things never work for me when I plan...I bet if I had thicker skin, I would not dwell on such things constantly... |
| Popularity: |
4 Followers |
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