What I’m Thankful For
I have a special Thanksgiving Day column up at Pajamas Media.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Going to take the rest of the week off, so enjoy Thanksgiving. Be thankful for this great country and how it’s so strong it can still be super awesome even when we have dumb stupid presidents. And I’ll see you next week. And, just because pretty much everyone is posting it, here are the Muppets singing Bohemian Rhapsody:

Obama is so useless and incompetent as president that…
…the turkey he pardoned immediately went back to doing the same crimes that got it sentenced to execution in the first place.

In the GMail
Obama wrote me back to my e-mail from the other day: Frank, I know change is scary and confusing, but that doesn’t mean you should direct all your cracker rage at me. I’m sorry you had plans for your money, but we don’t all get what we want. What’s more important is that I get what I want which is what the country needs. We all other than me have to make sacrifices. And I borrowed your golf clubs. kthxbai, President Obama Graaah! What a jerk! Here’s what I wrote back: Barry, YOU’RE THE CRACKER!!! You don&

Frank Advice for Life
Get an old chest and put explosives in it and set a trigger so the explosives will go off when the chest is opened. Then bury the chest in a middle of nowhere making sure to note its location. Now, if you’re ever captured by pirates, you can tell them to spare your life and you’ll lead them to buried treasure. I think the rest is pretty self-explanatory.