Falling In Love With A Gun Street Girl, and Other Tragicalamities
Every so often I get it into my head that I want to write songs. Or even just one song. This is not one of those times...and its all Tom Waits' fault. Unintentional, I know.  Falling James in the Tahoe mud Stick around to tell us all the tale He fell in love with a Gun Street girl and Now he's dancing in the Birmingham jail Dancing in the Birmingham jail I love music, all sorts of music. I listen daily, I am getting on more artists' mailing lists, and I think I may

Okay, But What Kind of Meat?
I went to a local museum last weekend with my Wee Lass, to attend a birthday party for two of her classmates. In the room reserved for the festivities, I saw this sign upon the wall: Everyone is a specialist these days. I think I'll pick...ba

Running Lights
Christ, my head hurts. Sleep or liquor I can’t tell. I heard your voice, or laugh, cupped by the waves and tossed into my ears. That dream again, waking up on the beach, cold and slick with dew. I’m never sure if I had been drinking. It’s the only reason I can think of these days, that I would fall asleep on the beach. Then again, I’m never sure if I am really waking up or just dreaming I’m waking up. I sit up abruptly. The gray smear of the horizon congeals into focus. My heart pounds in the usual manner as I struggle for balance. I think the sun is coming up, or maybe just behind a drapery of fog and mist

Ballad of the Reluctant Road Warrior
Turning to the door, eyes barely open Stepping to the nacreous chill Of a thrice ordinary Thursday Slowly sagging in the drizzle He would curse if he could But a cage match with computer And the phones, and another Goddamn fritzy pen Has robbed him of the energy…

A Friend of Mine Said "I Quit Smoking Cold Turkey..."
"...and I said, 'Whaddya smoke now? Ham?'..."* Badabing! Yes, ladies and gentlemen and indeterminates, I am a comedian! Sometimes... You know, in my line of work, I regularly get accosted by idiots pretending to be savants**, people asking me patently stupid questions and the like. So it didn't surprise me when IB at Idiot's Stew bugged the shit out of me asked me very politely to lay up a guest post for his "Turkey Palooza" fest of all things Thanksgiving-ly bloggable. Having a soft spot in the Gumbo ticker for idiots, especially idiots as cool my bud Ian (an idiot who ac