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NickMom — What? You’ve all thought about it. . Registry: Plankton plankton plankton plankton plankton plankton plankton plankton. Everyone laughed when you said you wanted to have an underwater birth BUT WHO’S LAUGHING NOW? . Read the full list over at NickMom. Filed under: Dad Stories / Parenting,

Men’s Health — ONE OF KENNY CHESNEY’S BREEZIEST songs has the comforting title “Be As You Are.” It’s basically what would happen if you folded up the island of St. John and slipped it into a cassette deck—an acoustic carpe diem about finding an idyllic Caribbean harbor within yourself. This is a nic

GateHouse — I rarely pay heed to news out of the world of Science, mostly because we’re in a recession, people, and I’m not made of heed. But it’s also because such news often arrives in the form of sizable and startling-looking words, many of which contain prefixes (ugh), in periodicals that I do n

. GateHouse — Despite growing up in a reasonably comfortable Indiana suburb, I never really got into the music of Tupac Shakur. This put me in direct conflict with my younger brother, Dave; while I would spend my formative Camelot Music-stalking time making important purchasing decisions about Tesla

. GateHouse — You hear a lot about pink slime these days, because frankly, pink slime is an a-MA-zing turn of phrase. It’s a writer’s dream, a lyrical, almost onomatopoeic slice of verbal sleight-of-hand that grabs your brain and demands it to conjure up an image, requires you to stop what you’re do

Men’s Health — It’s a warm southern California morning, and I’m meeting Zac Efron in Studio City at a place called Weddington Golf & Tennis. With a name that stuffy, I expect marble and money. The course turns out to be public, with a plastic-cup snack bar where a waitress, without looking up, infor

NickMom — Is this normal? Because basically the highlight of my birthday parties was Big Mac Container Stacking.  . OH GOD THERE’S A LLAMA LOOSE OUT HERE RUN YOU LITTLE F–KERS RUN! Read the full list over at NickMom. Filed under: Dad Stories / Parenting, Humor Columns, NickMom Tagged: dads, funny, h

NickMom— You put a fish tank in your kid’s room because you think it’ll teach valuable lessons about nature and responsibility, and then the fish more or less try to kill themselves. 3. “I said, ‘Maybe we SHOULDN’T put the moray eel in the aquarium,’ but nooooooo no one EVER LISTENS TO ME.” Read the

GateHouse — I approach clothes shopping like most people approach their pet’s funerals. Well, that’s not entirely accurate. I guess with pet funerals there will be at least some part of it you’ll enjoy — warm-hearted memories of being lovingly licked all over your previously germ-free face, or the w