Five lightsabers, one walrus and knowing when to fold ‘em: A Christmastime parable
GateHouse — A short parable for this holiday season, starring .htaccess files, five lightsabers, inessential ambition and egregious, carrying-a-walrus-with-two-hands-over-your-head stupidity: I am, as anyone who has spent more than four minutes with me and my collection of stories involving personal interactions with “Weird Al” Yankovic (there are six) will attest, a nerd. Not a geek, mind you,

You know what’s kind of hard to do is coding and blogging and stuff
If anyone has tried to visit here over the weekend, and noticed an IMPOSSIBLY COLORFUL SERIES OF ERROR MESSAGES, ANGRY SERVER RESPONSES AND POSSIBLY TONGUES OF FLAME SHOOTING OUT OF YOUR USB PORTS, my apologies. I thought I’d get all creative with the coding and some CSS and maybe a little .htaccess and HOLY DEAR SWEET MOTHER OF GOD did that go bad. I am putting everything back where it was and walking away slowly. Thanks for your patience.

Springsteen goes on hiatus, and there’s a waffle shortage. This week sucks.
Get a good look, because this is as close as you're getting to an Eggo until June. GateHouse — Well, it’s over, there are no more waffles. I am going to pause for a moment to let that news sink in and give you the time, if you are so moved, to kill yourself, because this waffle fiasco is pretty definitively the worst thing to happe

The Great Comedy Recession has affected us all
Pictured: AM radio talk-show host Rush Limbaugh. Island Packet — Despite what I’m sure it looks like to people with real jobs, it is not easy to come up with funny ideas these days, especially in a writing landscape where anyone with an inside-joke phrase and a working knowledge of the Bloggers can more or less become a published columnist, circumventing the old methods of getting published,

Slovakia 1, U.S. 0! Get used to this flag, World Cup people
This is the flag of Slovakia. Get nice and familiar with it, Medal Podium. GateHouse — I don’t write about sports very often, which is too bad, since we as a nation are running pretty low on providers of completely superfluous sports commentary (maybe we can get some of you guys on a cable TV show or something), but nevertheless I am here to report the SPORTS SHOCKER OF THE WEEK, one which will melt