Is Gonzo A Hipster?
I don’t think so, but he sure dresses like one. Let’s look at the photographic evidence: Here’s the Gonz in his standard purple tuxedo with matching bow tie. Very hipster. He’d be all set for that big loft party downtown if he weren’t so bummed about missing the Pavement reunion show. This is absolutely a get-up you’d [...]

These Hors D’œuvres Suck
I’ve been scraping my brain all week for wild Thanksgiving memories to write about, and I’ve come to the conclusion that every Turkey Day I’ve ever had has been pretty routine. Grandma never denounced my “alternative lifestyle,” the bird never tasted like homeless ball sack marinated in raw sewage, the carving knife was never plunged [...]

Examining Kid Rock’s Common Sense Ideas
Hey, did you know Sarah Palin wrote a book? I feel this issue has been very underreported in the mainstream media. I download Sherman Hemsley’s podcast every day, and he hasn’t said boo about it. Plenty about Isabel Sanford and his other fellow cast members from “The Jeffersons,” but not word one concerning the recent [...]

Crazy Ass Dream: Bridge Talk
This dream began with me interviewing Kristen Stewart for some magazine in an empty parking lot at about three in the morning. She was being her usual awkward self. When we were done, I walked K-Stew to some building where this wild celebrity party was taking place (I spotted big wigs like Travolta and Nicholson [...]

Haikus About Ex-Girlfriends
Birthday joy ruined biography of RuPaul all you got me? Damn. Diet pills and booze watching you turn green was cool just like a mood ring! I’m sorry I laughed when that guy spit up on you guess that was a sign Part of my soul died every time you dragged me to see the Aqua Bats How could you dump me? What, you only like guys who have [...]