Shebangabang's Next Top Model #4
Okay, so it’s late at night, you’re feeling peckish, and you check the ‘fridge to see if there’s anything worth pillaging. You open the door, and there, right on the top shelf, is an unopened packet of Tim Tams. You put one in your mouth and chew slowly, savouring each divine, satiny, brown-drool-inducing tongue-roll. All of a sudden you hit something unusual and tough, so you pull it out of your mouth. It’s a piece of paper. You unfold it and realise it’s a voucher for eight thousand more unopened packets of Tim Tams.New Zealand’s Next Top Model is finding the packet of Tim Tams.The makeover episode is eating the Tim Tams.The photo

Shebangabang's Next Top Model #3
This episode of New Zealand’s Next Top Model is respectfully and sombrely dedicated to all those who were killed during the making of the program.In random order, this includes:- The English language- The last vestige of credibility attributed to the hip hop genre- My eyes and life- Eight thousand brave, frizzy chinchillas- The memory of Jackie Onassis.Moment of quiet contemplation, please. Thank you.The Judges. Sara Tetro Sara is no longer satisfied with just dressing as if she’s attending a Kennedy funeral. She’s dressing as Jackie Onassis. Come on now, hair a

Office Face.
It will come as no surprise to regular readers that I like to make up games.It will come as a surprise to everyone, including my closest family members, that I have an actual job that I work very hard at. I arrive at the office at sparrow's crack, and often don't leave until late at night.At some point, these two surprising/unsurprising things were bound to cross paths.Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my newest game: Office Face.It all started quite simply, with a cupboard near my desk.

Shebangabang's Next Top Model #2
I was seeing this guy once – he was hot, smart, talented and dressed well, and I was smitten as a kitten (New Zealand readers – please say out loud). The relationship lasted a few months, then he moved overseas. I missed him. I wished he’d come back. I started hanging out with his brother. The brother wasn’t as good-looking, a bit on the thick side, had almost no discernable talent, and dressed like he’d picked clothes at random from a blind man’s washing basket. DAMN, he was good in bed, though.Okay, so that’s not strictly true, but you know what New Zealand’s Next Top Model is? It’s an ex-boyfriend’s brother with a big penis. The Judges.

Shebangabang's Next Top Model #1
I want to make one thing absolutely and patently clear: I will not, repeat not be making fun of the New Zealand accent in my synopses of New Zealand’s Next Top Model. To do so would be condescending, unkind and rude.PSYCH! Of course I’m going to make fun of the accent. Without the accent, this show would just be about judges-I-can’t-look-at called Colin, clown-haired-models-I-can’t-look-at called Frankie, morphine-shooting epileptics and racks full of coloured thongs. BORING. I’m going to take an academic (eck-a-dim-uck) approach to this show, carefully analysing the cast and summarising each scenario with the keen acumen of a PhD su