Children In Need 2009
Here’s my attempt to watch this years Children in Need offering. 2000 John Barrowman sings a shit song in his underwear before plugging his new film. Nice charity work, John! 2002 Some awful, awful cover of ‘All You Need Is Love’ sung by a horrible bunch of bastards. Apparently we should buy it. I’ll give it a miss. 2005 We have an appearance by the BBC newsreaders doing a sexy dance later, didn’t see that one coming. 2008 Eight minutes in and I’m already wishing I was dead. Hollyoaks murdering Queen. I don’t even like Queen and I’m outraged. 2011 I can’t take Tess Daly seriously knowing t

X Factor, Week… err, somewhere in the middle
Hello. This will probably be my last post in a while as I’m facing the TERRIFYING prospect of having no internet for a while when I move into my new flat. Say a prayer for me each night, please. ARE. YOU. READY. TO. FACE. THE. MUSIC? Yes mate, I am, but are you? You sound like you need a lie down. Jamie was up first this week, doing a piss-poor version of a piss-poor song, Radio Gaga. Throwing your fist in the air d

TV Facebook updates
Hello. If you see any HILARIOUS Facebook status updates or Tweets regarding the weeks TV please send them to jack.d.stewart@googlemail.com and I’ll post them and we can all laugh at them and feel good about ourselves here. I’ll get the ball rolling… Dont patranize me.

Never Mind The Buzzcocks Half-Term Report
1. James Corden Shit, fuck off Corden. U 2. Rhod Gilbert By far the best host yet, competent and funny which led to it being the best episode of the series. He’s my pick for new regular host so far. Still no Amstell or Lamaar but decent enough. B 3. Alex James Awkward and cheesy. D 4. Jack

Neighbours, The Week That Was
After last weeks blockbuster events things have cooled off dramatically, and the main focus of the last five episodes seems to have been Sunny. I don’t understand why Sunny is a character in the first place, I know Neighbours are fond of pointless characters but she’s up there with the greats (Ty, Ned, Taj). This week she got scared about having to dance at the ball and decided to attempt to sabotage it. Selfish bitch. Donna right