Feck is Back!

Smell My Finger
Us Weekly breathlessly reports up to the minute news from the front lines of celebrity vanity projects. It just posted this vital update to its website.Reese Witherspoon: My New FragranceReflects "My Life" Really? That's awesome, Reese. So I guess it smells like highlights, tooth whitener and Jake Gyllenhaal's taint. I know there are more than a few readers out there wishing for a scratch 'n

Overheard on Halloween
At Life Without Feck, we love nothing more than a feckless group of kids. I just heard this on the corner of 29th Street and 35th Avenue in Queens and submitted it to Overheard in New York:Group of children in costume, chanting in unison:WE WANT MORE CANDY!WE WANT MORE CANDY!NO MORE APPLES!NO MORE APPLES!Ironically, the New Yorkers who used to dress like every day was Halloween and ingest all

Just in Time for Halloween
Onion News Network's Today Now shows worried parents How to Find a Masculine Costume for Your Effeminate Son.Still to Come: How to Squat in Your Foreclosed Home

Our Bony Ambassador
Don't get me wrong: I think it's great that Angelina Jolie is helping raise awareness of the plight of the Somalis. But do these refugees want to give her a bowl of rice?Seriously, her wasted muscles are straining to keep her huge head from toppling off its stalk into the poor woman's lap. Maybe the U.N. could replace the baseball cap with a drink helmet like this:Just replace the cola with one

Cum On Feel the Noize
It's a beautiful day outside and I have thrown open my windows. (Okay, I opened them gently: throwing them sounds difficult and violent.) As a result, I do not have the white noise of my air conditioner to buffer the sounds of city living.A quick rundown: right now I am hearing street traffic, a subway train passing on the elevated tracks, a jackhammer...and birds. I am used to all of this.