Day 833 of Captivity
The infidels recently invested in some new shackles and bonds for the kelb and I.  The female dragged the male infidel off into to town to collect a parcel that she was most excited about.  The male infidel didn't seem to share her enthusiasm, particularly as it involved him driving her down town after a "hard day in the office".  This was snorted at and the male, under protest, drove her down town.  They returned some hours later, having been ejected from the shop to observe prayers, clutching a package.  The female infidel then proceeded to produce a shiny new infidel shackle for my neck.  The only saving grace to the fact I have to endure wearing the infidel bonds of ownership is t

Day 824 of Captivity
The infidels spent much of the morning lying in bed the odd groan and escaping of noxious gases  emanating from their direction.  They went out last night to see a live band, how that entails rolling home drunk as lords in the small hours of the morning I will never know!  This clearly was not a band of the classical persuasion, as I head them regaling tales of their crowd surfing activities during the show.  They are such hooligans!  The female infidel looks like death warmed up and is complaining about her self inflicted headache.  I have done a spot of singing this morning and bounced off her head a couple of times in an attempt to get her to snap out of her self pity

Day 819 of Captivity
I haven't been able to get near the laptop for love nor money.  The female infidel has been sitting over it attempting to look intellectual and failing miserably!  I have no idea what she can be doing that requires her to hog the laptop like she has and I am not very pleased!  Apparently she has become involved in rescue and has had important things to do.  Rescue is just an infidel code word for capturing poor innocent animals and holding them against their will,  I was "rescued"!  The female infidel wasn't very well last week and was up in the night.  She spent some time locked in the downstairs bathroom crying into the porcelain.  Whilst she was incapacitat

Day 803 of Captivity
The male Infidel and the angst ridden adolescents have returned from their vacation, finally  alleviating me from the ennui of being left alone for what seemed like an eternity with only the irksome female for company.  The male returned sporting 3rd degree burns to his legs having been vacuous enough to go to the beach minus the vat of factor 50 sun cream that the  female Infidel packed him off with.  She just hasn't been irritating enough in her scathing comments to the male about his foolishness.  Oh to be as enlightened as she!  He has spent much of the week rolling his eyes at her and keeping his legs away from my karate chopping antics.  I did manage to leap on him in  th

Day 787 of Captivity
I haven't managed to post much recently, because the fatuous female Infidel broke the laptop last week.  I think you have to be some kind of special to break a Mac, but it seems the female has won her spot on the sunshine coach!  She spent much of last week either swearing at it or threatening it with violence.  It is repaired now, but no thanks to the old crone, she had to call on the help of a techy type, I think they are referred to as geeks.  He seemed most amused at the level of stupidity displayed by the female Infidel, while she prattled on about how the laptop came to be in such a state of disrepair he seemed to be choking down hysterics.  The female Infid