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I'm a doctor who blogs but I have delusions that I'm a blogger who doctors.
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Lori Schwarcz
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Loripalooza Open wide and say ha!

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http://loripalooza.wordpress.com
Loripalooza · 1Y ago

Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

Happy almost Mother’s Day! On the way to work this morning, I was listening to the radio. In anticipation of Mother’s Day, one of those moronic wacky morning shows had listeners call in and share the biggest lie their mother ever told them.  Well that’s easy. When I was around 5,  my mother lied and
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Loripalooza · 1Y ago

Ode To A Game Show

I was going to write a new blog post but I was on vacation. Then I was busy washing my hair. Then the dog ate my computer. OK, the truth is I’m just lazy and haven’t posted in forever. I’m still too lazy to write something,  so in the meantime, please enjoy this freeform poem written by my [...]
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Loripalooza · 1Y ago

Why Don’t We Get Drunk And Sue

“Mom sues preschool for not prepping 4-year-old for Ivy League” This sounds like a headline you’d read in The Onion. But this story isn’t satire, it’s real.  In a nutshell, a Manhattan mother is suing a preschool for jeopardizing her 4-year-old daughter’s chances of getting into an elite private ele
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Loripalooza · 1Y ago

The Ides Of March

Today is March 15 – the Ides of March. Julius Caesar was warned to “beware the Ides of March”. Clearly Caesar didn’t heed this warning…he was killed on the Ides of March. How do I know so much about the Ides of March? Well, I read William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar in high school. Hmm, I wonder [..
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Loripalooza · 1Y ago

Charlie Sheen Visits Dr. Lori

Physician-patient confidentiality prevents me from identifying the patients I write about. But the patient I’m writing about today is no ordinary patient. Rules don’t apply to him. He’s a bitchin’ rock star from Mars. He’s… CHARLIE SHEEN! Even though Charlie’s been super busy doing drugs television
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Loripalooza · 1Y ago

I’d Like To Thank The Academy…

I’m a very unlucky person. Raffles, contests, awards, the lottery, the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes, the Nobel Peace Prize, Skee-ball at Chuck E. Cheese…I never win anything. My luck is terrible. But Lori, you’re probably saying, you’re lucky to have your family, your health and your job. Y
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Loripalooza · 1Y ago

Blizzards Should Be Made Of Ice Cream, Not Snow

Got snow? I do. You may have heard about the little blizzard that struck the Midwest last week. How could you not hear about it? Meteorologists couldn’t stop talking about it. They used their fancy schmancy weather maps and radar images to tell us that a blizzard was headed our way. But not just any
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Loripalooza · 1Y ago

When Tiger Mom Met Helicopter Mom

So far, 2011 has been the year of the Tiger Mom. If you don’t know what a Tiger Mom is, you should read Amy Chua’s Wall Street Journal article, “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” .  Amy Chua created quite a stir with this article and with her book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”. While some praise
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Loripalooza · 1Y ago

Has Facebook Killed The High School Reunion?

I graduated high school in 1990. In November 2010, our class gathered for its 20 year reunion. (But because I suck at blogging, I didn’t blog about it until now.) When I first received the information about the 20 year reunion, I thought,  Go to my high school reunion? No way!  Not a chance!  Only w
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Loripalooza · 1Y ago

Happy Holidays 2010

This is recycled from last year but, once again, it’s true I’m just a Jew, a lonely Jew doctor on call on Christmas. Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! Lori Filed under: Doctor stuff, Lori stuff Tagged: Christmas, doctors, Hanukkah, holiday cards, humor, New Years
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