Gobble Gobble!
Hey Mr. Turkey! Get in my belly!Tomorrow is Thanksgiving! Whoo frickin hoo! I'm a foodie. You get that, right?Anywho, today, one of my customers at work (no, I'm not a hooker) asked me, "Hey! Did you see that s

Won't You Please? Won't You Please? Please Won't You Be My Neighbor?
I have a confession to make.My neighbors? They pretty much suck.I have lived in the same neighborhood, in the last house on the street, for thirteen years. Everyday, I drive past several of them. Everyday, they pretend they don't see me. And it's not just me. They do it to each other...antisocial motherf*ckers.You know what I think? I think they take themselves way too seriously. They're all like...I'm a lawyer! I'm a doctor! I'm a stock broker! I'm a business owner! I'm an executive! And I am wayyyy too important to wave to the likes of you because I shit Haagen Dazs!Um...Not my flavor, a**hole.

I Hope There's Chardonnay In Hell
The following is a recent Facebook conversation between me and my friend, Judi. She's my Soul Sista. 11:01pm SallyI don't care what anyone says. Rick Springfield is still HOTTTTTTT!11:02pm JudiI cannot believe he is SIXTY!!!11:02pm SallyI know! WTF?11:03pm JudiI never thought he was that much older than us. And I also forgot that he is Australian.11:03pm SallyHe is 20 years older than us!11:04pm Ju

Do I Smell Bacon?
Last night, after work, I went to Macy's because they were having the BIGGEST, HUGEST, MOST EARTH SHATTERING SALE of the century! Which, by the way, is a big steaming pile of bullshit propaganda because they have those sales like once a month. But, whatever.So anyway, I'm at Macy's wandering around the kitchen gadgets, when I notice these displays of beautiful, hand painted dishes from Spain. Seriously, they were stunning! The coffee mugs were big and chunky and just perfect for ginormous vats of Godiva Hot Chocolate....HOLLA (Who's a chocolate whore? I am! I am!)!! Anywho, just as I'm glancing over all of the beautiful and colo

Oh.No.He.Didn't!
Last night, the Hubby asked me to hang out with him for a bit at our new business condo because he was nailing down a new floor on the second level. Basically, my job was to jump and stand on the plywood sheets until they shimmied into their correct spaces. Then, the Hubbs would nail down the sheets with his scary ass, big mutha, Stanley Bostitch framing nail gun. Try saying that ten times fast.Anyway, suddenly, the scary ass, big mutha, Stanley Bostitch framing nail gun? Well...It just stopped working! Wanna see a grown man pitch a hissy? Yeah. Me neither. But I had no choice. So, I walked ov