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A little something that I hope will make some people laugh. It is a blog about an Australian girl (that's me) who fell in love with an Austrian girl, then threw caution to the wind and moved to Austria. I now live in Linz, which is very different from Sydney, and spend my time going 'woah, that is like so weird, i totally have to do a blog entry on that'.

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Megaschwez Adventures of an Australian trophy wife in Austria

English - Austria, Australia, Humour

http://megaschwez.wordpress.com

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Megaschwez · 3M ago

Hard to get good help these days

The Removalists Two weeks ago, an enormous shipping container arrived at our apartment complex, containing about 85% of our combined worldly possessions. It had survived six weeks on the ocean, during which time we had visions of it going the way of the Costa Concordia, spewing our personal belongin

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Megaschwez · 1Y ago

Part VIII

8. Blokey surnames I don’t know much about Australian private boys’ schools, but I do know that people who have spent any time in them form a lifelong habit of call each other solely by their surnames as a sign of manliness, sporting prowess and, I guess, not being homosexual or something. Thus, I s

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Megaschwez · 1Y ago

Part VII

7. Title porn I spent twelve thousand bucks on my university degree (or, I have a never-to-be-repaid debt of 12K, whichever way you want to look at it), and received, for my money, a bunch of letters and parentheses that I will probably never use in an official capacity, to wit: (BA)(Lang)(Hons). L

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Megaschwez · 1Y ago

Part VI

6. Bugs begone! One of the images burned into my retinas is that of the time that I, living in a shitty share house in an unnamed Sydney suburb, took my cornflakes out of the kitchen cupboard and sleepily poured them into my breakfast bowl, ALONG WITH A COLONY OF BROWN COCKROACHES. It pretty much [.

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Megaschwez · 1Y ago

Part V

5. Equal opportunity employment for the good-looking Writing/fixing/pimping your CV routinely comes at or near the top in surveys of most horrific computer-related experiences, trumped only by 1. skyping with relatives who still use a dial-up modem and 2. chatroulette. As those of us without a trust

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Megaschwez · 1Y ago

Part IV

4. Competent shop staff I once found myself in a large chain sports store in Linz, looking for, I don’t know, probably a bike pump, and not finding it. At my wits’ end, I resolved to craftily waylay a staff member, possibly brandish a wad of cash, plead with them to lead me to their [...]

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Megaschwez · 1Y ago

Part III

3. Deca mecca Why does no one ever order 210g of sun-dried tomatoes from the deli counter in Australian supermarkets? Because you feel like a dick, that’s why. You order in round figures, 100g or half a kilo. How come? Because we don’t have DECA. One deca is a magical unit of measurement equivalent

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Megaschwez · 1Y ago

Part II

2. Aperol Spritzers Let’s take apart this concept and reduce it to its constituent parts. Firstly, uniting wine and mineral water was an idea vastly superior, I would argue, to even the uniting of horse and carriage, loaves and fishes, and Adam and Eve. As, let’s be honest, none of those really turn

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Megaschwez · 1Y ago

A Few of my Favourite Things™: Part I

The first in a series of my own personal top eight entries on the list of awesome things about the alpine republic. Since Mozart, Almdudler, Jägermeister, Manner and Reinhard Fendrich all refused to sponsor me, none of them appear in the top eight*. *If they were to reconsider my generous cash-for-c

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Megaschwez · 2Y ago

The Airbus A380

I’m not sure whether you’ve ever flown on an Airbus 380. It happens to be an enormous, double-decker aircraft. Lowly economy-class passengers such as myself can only peer up the stairs to the top deck as far as the bar, which is adorned with more seductively glittering bottles of alcohol than you ca

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