The Death of Cool
I have never been cool. Trust me when I say it was never for a lack of trying.At various stages in my life, I worked so hard on feigning coolness that I'm surprised I didn't have an aneurysm. How many hours were spent trying on a variety of guises to find one that fit, I'll never know. From preppy jock to disaffected loner, I probably tried on more "costumes" than Mariah Carey in concert on Halloween night at The Flamingo. I'm not going to be too harsh on myself. I've come to realize that much of this past posturing was due to the vagaries of youth, insecurity and a desperate need for acceptance. Sounds so fucking e

Listography: A Life in Lists
I am an inherently lazy writer. Given the choice between curling up with a good book or sitting down at my computer, I will almost always choose the former over the latter. I'm also not very good at managing my free time. I've studied the habits of brilliantly successful people to see if there were some techniques that I might find helpful. Did you know that Buckminster Fuller averaged just two hours of sleep a night for two years and claimed he was more energetic and alert as a result? Or that Honore de Balzac ate dried coffee grounds to stimulate his imagination? Word is that Socrates even laid out his toga the night before and pre-pinned it in order to

Halloween 2009 Opinion Poll
As you can probably guess, I'm not a big fan of political correctness.When I was in college at Berkeley, a group of political activists lobbied to officially change Columbus Day to "Indigenous People's Day," the argument being that Christopher Columbus was responsible for more calamity and destruction than progress and prosperity. The activists blamed Columbus for single-handedly colonizing the New World and destroying indigenous populations. I'm not sure but I think they also pinned acid rain, rush-hour traffic, and the Middle East on him too. Seriously? Give me a fucking break. In my humble opinion, it helps nobody to use language as

Golden Handcuffs
Sometimes I think being an overly self-aware insomniac book nerd is more trouble than it's worth.While reading in the wee hours of the morning, I recently came across passages in two books that made me pause and reflect on the path my life has taken. Don't get me wrong. I like to introspectively examine my life as much as the next person. At the same time, I believe that too much introspection can frequently become a masturbatory exercise in self-absorption. To tell you the truth, I often think it'd be better if I slept more and read less. Anyway, here are the two passages.The first is from James Frey's &qu

The Peanut Turns Five!
Dear Peanut, Happy 5th birthday! Although you're completely ecstatic about this day, I think my own excitement might actually trump your own. Why? Mainly because I no longer have to keep hearing, "Daddy, daddy, daddy! How many days until my 5th birthday?" Don't get me wrong, kiddo. It was cute for awhile but after 5,000 times in one month, I was starting to think about canceling Christmas (FYI, it's in about 80 days.)Five is an amazingly fun age, Peanut. You've really turned into a person now and it simultaneously enthralls and scares the crap out of me. On the one hand, you still love cuddling on the couch with me and