Jesus sends message: Write Porn

Excuses, Excuses

My Secret Writing Life
Dear Lisa, I have 5000 words and no idea what I’m doing. This is the farthest I’ve ever gotten into a book and it’s an extremely uncomfortable feeling. So far I haven’t gone back much on what I wrote, since it’s a bit of a mental dump and I’m trying to get it all [...]

Professional Prozac User
Dear Jessica, I am going through a professional crisis. At least that is what I want to call it. I am too afraid to call it a quarter-life crisis. And, if I was going to be really specific about it, I couldn’t call it that anyway because I am about 8 years too late. Here is my [...]

Hey, careful, man, there’s a beverage here!
Summer is over. Here’s how I know: 1. You’re married and already back from your honeymoon. I remember when you got engaged thinking how far away all of it seemed. Now it seems far away, but in the opposite direction. And the wedding was so much fun it deserves an exclamation point! [...]

Eat my Meat
Dear Jessica, I have experienced all kinds of jealousy in my life. Never people jealous of me I don’t think, but I’ve been jealous of all kinds of other people. For being prettier than me, for being smarter than me, for being richer than me, for being published. Facebook has put a whole new twist on this. I [...]