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I write crazy things on the Internet. Sometimes they're serious, sometimes they're not. Some people think I say boner a lot.
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Maria Melee
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Mommy Melee Expect shenanigans.

English - Parenting, Humor, Writing
http://www.mommymelee.com
Mommy Melee · 4d ago

Operation Get Outside This Summer

Last summer we didn’t spend enough time enjoying where we live.  I don’t know if it was getting stuck in a rut or what, but this summer I really want to enjoy our backyard, back porch, the parks around our neighborhood and the beach.  Having a child with Sensory Processing Disorder has really given
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Mommy Melee · 1W ago

so I wrote this thing

The year I was pregnant with Moose, I left my 50-hour-a-week job and started working part time and from home.  One of the many benefits of that arrangement was that I finally had a little bit of time to use my creative brain.  The summer of 2008, I wrote a story, felt really good [...]
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Mommy Melee · 2W ago

news flash: kids totally grow

© Mommy Melee, 2012. | Permalink | 2 comments | If you are reading this anywhere else, some douchenozzle has scraped my feed.
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Mommy Melee · 1M ago

5 ways to reap the benefits of moving without, you know, moving

I could say just pick up some unwieldy things and haul them around and inject some dust into your face and avoid sleeping entirely for days at a time, but I’m talking about the positive parts of moving. Once you get through all the utter suck, you actually end up with some majorly cool [...]
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Mommy Melee · 1M ago

six

Oh Chipmunk.  This week we’re moving, and it’s a week of upheaval and stress and exhaustion and right smack in the middle, today was your birthday.  You went to school and I came by and watched your class sing to you, and you guys ate Rice Crispy Treats and you chased your friends around [...]
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Mommy Melee · 1M ago

Why the term “mommy porn” gives me raging butthurt: An essay

The past month or so has been a nonstop hullabaloo over Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James.  To me, the most sensational thing about the novel (and its follow-ups) is that it was originally written as a transformative work.  (That’s fanfiction, to you.) Before you eye-roll at the idea of fanfiction,
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Mommy Melee · 2M ago

a handful

There must be some exact moment when a child stops being tiny and becomes something more.  A handful to an armful.  A perfect scoop in your lap to too many bones and limbs to too long and pokey to arrange against your middle.  I’m glad that moment passes silently, tip-toeing behind you, while you’re
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Mommy Melee · 2M ago

What does stimming look like?

I spent so many hours Googling videos of stimming when Chipmunk was two.  I’m serious.  Hours.  It was so scary seeing him seemingly possessed by these unfamiliar, repetitive movements.  Every single day–during play, during mealtime, in the bath–he’d stim.  He’d squeeze and arrange.  Squeeze and arr
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Mommy Melee · 3M ago

all over the place, standing still

When I can’t do anything, I hop onto Craigslist and look for jobs and cheaper rental homes that might be able to hold our family with room for me to work.  I don’t think we’ll end up moving, not yet, but it gives me a sense of power to look.  While my husband job [...]
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Mommy Melee · 3M ago

Hey did you build that bike for that baby?

I know I don’t usually write about product-y stuff, but I’ve had so many people ask me about this thing I’m going to share it with you guys. I don’t think I’ve ever loved a kid thing as much as I love Moose’s balance bike.  I almost got it for him for his birthday [...]
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