Birthday Message to My Brother
You are seriously like the best brother I have. Wait, you're the only brother I have, oh no -- there are those two half brothers, but they don't count cause they suck. So seriously, thanks for being so awesome. I know it's hard work to be so awesome ALL the frickin' time, but keep it up because the city o

Fawlty Towers Filled With the Funny
It takes a lot to make me laugh. And very few sitcoms make me laugh, especially the dribble that still comes with a laugh track and usually airs on CBS. I would rather watch corn grow than watch "Two and a Half Men," or shall I say, "Two and a Half Miscarriages." But the British classic,

Someone Buy Me This
Hi you guys. I'm hoping some hot betch who lives in, or is planning on visiting NYC soon will buy me these really neato super cool sunglasses. Their some Australian brand Ksubi. They only have one store and it's in Manhattan. So, if you

The Perfect Christmas Present
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33131872

Hysterical!
IT'S DECORATIVEGOURD SEASON, MOTHERFUCKERS.BY COLIN NISSAN- - - -I don't know about you, but I can't wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I'm about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it's gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There's a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.I may even throw