Open letter to the cute girl at…

To act or to be acted upon…(Part 1)

Rubbing out a “man”ssage

Democratic Party disbands, turns to entertainment
WASHINGTON—Fresh off further defeats in local and national elections yesterday, and the complete failure to pass President Obama’s national healthcare plan, leaders of the Democratic and Republican parties announced today in a joint statement that the Democratic National Party is being disbanded effective immediately. Appearing together, former Governor Tim Kaine, Chairman of the Democratic National Party, [...]

Study: Nancy Grace curbs nation’s crime rate
ATLANTA—In a study released today, researchers at the Dockery Institute are perplexed over a growing trend among the nation’s would-be criminals. According to the study, approximately 37% of these would-be assassins, kidnappers, sociopathic and domestic violence perpetrators are scrapping criminal plans citing fear stemming from a most unusual source. The reason? Jeffery Dockins, Director of [...]

Yoga? Yodo it!
I discovered recently that there’s a line in Yoga practice where the instructor will instruct “Remove the flesh from your sitting bones.” I found that interesting because I’ve been trying my pick up line, “May I add some meat to your sitting bones?” for years. Surprisingly, it has never worked. Maybe I need to target it [...]

Overheard in The Portico
Well, people of the interweb, it’s been a strange couple weeks for random things I’ve overheard. It is true what they say, you’ll hear some amazing things if you but stop to listen. Okay, nobody actually ever said that (that I know of (besides me of course)), but I do believe it. I think the one [...]

Target targeted for cost cutting outcry
MINNEAPOLIS – Target Corporation, the nation’s #2 discount retailer is under attack from a small but vocal group of consumers unhappy with the company’s continual decline in what they call, “shitty” service. The controversy centers around the company’s decision to scale back the size of their grocery bags, which according to the group, no longer [...]