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I am a married father of two girls. I guess the technical term is I’m a “professional,” but 10 minutes after meeting me I quickly dispel that notion - 5 if we are drinking. So, what do I enjoy? Sarcasm, writing, socializing, video games, making wise-ass remarks, enjoying imported beers, conspiracy theory and the paranormal, being a smart ass, hanging out with my wife and kids, sarcasm. Did I mention sarcasm? My wife is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I idolize her. (FYI - my wife wrote that last sentence. Ok, the last two, but I concur with the former.) I hope you enjoy my tales of peculiarity and woe.
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Mike Dunklee
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Off the Pole - Adventures in Fatherhood & More

English - Parenting, Sarcasm, Observational Humor
http://offthepole.wordpress.com
Off the Pole · 11M ago

Choke … Gasp! … Cough … WTF???

WHAT. THE. EFF. IS. THIS?!?!?!?   A couple things. First of all, the studio is “Make Me Fabulous.” I’ve said a lot of things about how your typical stripper looks and “fabulous” does not even sniff the top 25 adjectives in that repertoire.   Not that I’ve been to a lot of strip clubs (ahem). [...]
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Off the Pole · 1Y ago

And the Award for the Epic White Trash Headline of the Year goes to…

Dads – This is why you hug your daughters every single day and tell them how special they are. You don’t want to be on the posting bail side of this situation. I also sooooo love the tags: arrested, knives, pregnant teen. It’s like playing the home version of “Taboo: High School Drop-Outs” edition.
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Off the Pole · 1Y ago

Business in the front. Errr…party in the back? I guess?

So is this the new thing for middle aged white dudes? Have I stumbled upon the latest iteration of the proverbial mullet? Yesterday while on my quick 53.5 mile commute to work, something peculiar caught my eye. So, there’s this guy, all suit and tie and slicked-back cocksure hair in his shiny Cadill
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Off the Pole · 1Y ago

Crazy gets betrothed, but it’s not what I had in mind.

So, Crazy Girl, at the wizended age of 5, has it all figured out. If you’ve ever met the girl, she’s a pint-sized, iron-willed creature when she wants to be. And once she’s made a decision, by God, she’s made it, and damn whomever thinks they can change her mind. A commendable character trait for an
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Off the Pole · 1Y ago

Unbelierbable – Redux

So…two days later, this happened. It’s like Gizmo up in this. Shit be multiplying. To make matters worse, the Hannah Montana poster was taken down, folded neatly and stuffed in the trash. Ish just got real, yo.
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Off the Pole · 1Y ago

UnBelieberable…

And so it begins…. I came home from work the other night to find this on the wall in Weirdo’s bedroom. Effing kill me now.
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Off the Pole · 1Y ago

Not even cupid may stick my babies with one of those

Now for a very special Valentines Day edition of the Off the Pole blog. And by special, I mean I am writing this while dressed in a diaper and holding a short bow. A tad bit nipply considering the weather, but I demand fealty to themes and traditions… The other day while Weirdo was off [...]
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Off the Pole · 1Y ago

Eazy-E can sing about nuts on his chin, but I don’t need to see it at my dinner table

I think 90 percent of the trauma and drama (llama baby mama chicken shawarma) in my life happens at my dinner table. With as much bad shit that goes down there, you’d think I wouldn’t be such a fat ass because I would willingly skip meals. I’ll have you know I’m a fat ass because [...]
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Off the Pole · 2Y ago

Happy Father’s Day, Fellow Pole-Preventers

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there enjoying our day. This is the day our children reaffirm that we are doing the right things to keep them growing in the right direction. Give ‘em a hug, dads, especially your daughters. I’m sure there is a scientific study somewhere that says if you hug [.
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Off the Pole · 2Y ago

A Personal Story – Guest Blogging on the DIFF Blog

Hi folks. Sorry I have been away for so long. Hasn’t been for a lack of content but rather for a lack of time. I spoke with several of my “fans” over the past week who are bugging me for an update and I know I owe you one. I’m guest blogging on the DIFF [...]
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