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Outnumbered Two to One

English - Motherhood, Parenting, Humor
http://outnumberedtwotoone.wordpress.com
Outnumbered Two to One · 4M ago

An Brief Exploration of Awkward – Recycling a Post

I’ve thought about blogging lately. But mostly in a distant and remote way. Feeling the urge to post and reconnect, yet not mustering the will. Mustering instead other things, like melancholy and laziness. Will being something I reserve for Tuesdays when I have to coax myself to two classes and draf
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Outnumbered Two to One · 5M ago

Diagnosing Myself with Blogging Fatigue

I have a confession to make. I am officially sick of blogging. It’s not you. It’s me. I’m tired of hearing myself talk. 30 days is nothing to sneeze at. The Red Kangaroo can make an entire baby kangaroo in just 30 days. The adult life span of a head louse elapses in the course [...]
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Outnumbered Two to One · 5M ago

A Brief Meltdown Courtesy of MC Hammer

This is a plastic representation of what my brain should look like (I mean I think it is, I’m not studying anatomy or anything, so…): This is a food representation of my brain after I’ve spent two days cleaning up little boy vomit and writing a paper that was due at 10 pm tonight which [...]
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Outnumbered Two to One · 5M ago

Tree Climbing Days Gone By – RemembeRED

I don’t know when I decided to start climbing the mango tree in my grandparent’s front yard or why I decided it would be a good idea to hang upside down from one of the lower boughs. But once I learned I could do it, I never wanted to stop. Even though the bark scraped [...]
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Outnumbered Two to One · 6M ago

This is Probably a Mismanagement of My Time

This is what a literary essay in work looks like:   Mrsbear Outnumbered Professor Wispy Hair LIT 4321 27 November 2011 <Insert Title Here> This is the beginning of my paper about The Novel We Read. This is where I put my thesis statement. This is where I put my supporting statements. The rest [...]
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Outnumbered Two to One · 6M ago

Visiting My Mother

And the days of consecutive turkey eating have finally taken their toll. Eyelids heavy. So so heavy. Breathing slowing. Vision blurring. Here’s a brief snippet from today. My mother: You’re only alive because I spent six months of my pregnancy on bed rest. Drinking liquid meals and going in a bed pa
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Outnumbered Two to One · 6M ago

Waiting Up on a Friday Night

My girls are out tonight. At an all ages concert. After dark. They’d been hounding me for weeks about whether or not I would let them go. My stand-by answer was “I have to talk to your dad.” Really we’d already talked about it, but we were both on the fence. My husband agreed that [...]
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Outnumbered Two to One · 6M ago

Saving a Buck, Killing a Turkey

I’m waiting up until midnight, here in the comfort of my own bed, still stuffed to my neck in turkey and gravy and cheesecake. I’ve got my overheated laptop searing my thighs because Amazon is promising me a bargain on one of the big ticket items on all of the kids’ Christmas lists. I could’ve [...]
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Outnumbered Two to One · 6M ago

Happy Day to You

To all of you cooking tomorrow: I wish you minimal sweating and delicious results. To all of you eating tomorrow: I wish you easy digestion and room for dessert. To all of you shopping tomorrow: Don’t. But if you do, I wish you good bargains and safety from trampling. To everyone else: have a lovely
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Outnumbered Two to One · 6M ago

Because Distraction is Not a Choice, it’s an Epidemic

Before class yesterday, Dr. Professor asked if I had an idea what I was going to write my final paper on. I said two idiot things. “I have no idea.” Plus. “I think I work better under pressure.” Which is code for “I procrastinate” and “I am lazy.” It’s kind of a shame because I [...]
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