Eating Mishaps on Film
For those of us blessed to be in the Red, White und Blue, Thanksgiving is upon us -- a holiday dedicated to stuffing ourselves retarded with enough food to prevent war in Africa and falling into a triptophan coma in front of televisions blaring football while steadfastly ignoring your loved ones. My loved ones remain across the continent, nestled in their cozy Pennsyltucky hamlet, and so this year, my intended and I are headed out to the Morongo Casino Thanksgiving Buffet. In addition to celebrating materialism and gluttony, Morongo Casino is located on an Indian reservation, and so we'll be sticking it to the natives worse than a smallpox Snuggie. By all that is right and just, I wil

Old Dogs Review
Hi Iajiba! I saw Old Dogws tooday. I did not think that I would like it, but the more I watched it the more i grew to luv it. I think it may have make me dumber, but ignrnce is blessing, right?!!!It was a veree funny movie but hwen it was over, i had a weird puddle in my lap that seemed to cum from my ears. it was gray and sqooshy and when i went back to my car, and i feel like charlie in the last part of flowerz for algrnon and i forgot how to drive so i had to walk home and the rian it was very wet and now i am cold but i am veree happy becuase i got to see old dogs, which was very funny. old dogs is about a old lday named robin williams and her best friend who is playe

Pajiba Love 11/25/09
Stephen King has apparently gone mad with power and is planning to write a sequel and film adaptation to The Shining. I would have hoped he would have learned his lesson from that abysmal Talisman sequel. (The Playlist) Ding dong, "Dancing with the Stars" is dead. Guess who won? Spoiler alert! It was a D-list celebrity! (Hairballs) I've never felt any particular way about Katie Holmes (unless you count "completely ambivalent") but hearing that she's a theater-talker

Thanksgiving Diversion 2009
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and today is No Whining Wednesday, so apparently, it's my duty to be earnest in today's comment diversion. The problem, of course, is that after all that Paheeba Day love and crowding around the glory hole on Butthole Day, it's gotten a little kewpy up in here this November. Anyway, fuck it: Let's spill our squishy guts, folks. Let's be uncool together. You're among friends. Give that cringe-worthy, embarrassing Thanksgiving tradition a dry run among your virtual friends. Let's be uncool, folks. What are you thankful for this year, and don't be afraid to fly that uncool flag. As for me: I'm thankful for the adorable kid, the beautiful wi

The Best Thanksgiving Films
5. Son-in-Law: Most folks would probably put Hannah and her Sisters on this list; it's a brilliant, Oscar-nominated film with a superb cast, incredible writing, and it's probably Woody Allens' second best film. It's an elegant masterpiece, a literate, serious, and seriously witty look at a neurotic, dysfunctional family, featuring one of Michael Caine's absolute best performances. But, Son in Law is a guilty pleasure on one of the guiltiest pleasure days of the year. As I wrote in our Secret Shames Guides a couple of years ago: "It's formulaic as hell, it's overpoweringly syrupy, and it stars fucking Pauly Shore.