Mom's night out redux
So I got all dressed up in a really cute (really SHORT) skirt and a sweater that shows some cleavage and even put on makeup. I didn't realize how bad I need a haircut but I still think I looked pretty good. Traffic was bad so I abandoned the idea of the Italian place and headed to Red Lobster. It's still classier than most of the places around here (that's how redneck this place is...we consider the Red Lobster classy!) Well, I was the ONLY person at the bar (right before I left a couple sat down and the guy was flirting but I'm not even GOING there!) I even had a female bartender! The food was good though. There's nothing there the kids will eat and FG never wants to go there so it was a n

Mom's night out
Thank you for the comments and e-mails on my last post. I know you're right. Even when I created that account I told myself it was stupid because the only reason to do it was to make myself mad. Anyway, I'm not thinking about that tonight.Ex decided at the last minute that since Pork Chop's feeling better, he would go ahead and take them this weekend. I didn't even tell FG...haven't talked to him at all. I'm taking a Mommy break. I'm going out by myself tonight and I'm going to find some real live people to flirt and laugh with if it kills me!In an effort to raise my standards a bit, I'm getting all dolled up and heading to this Italian place a little north of here.

working on my attitude
I'm totally fried right now so I apologize in advance.Saturday, I spent the day helping my parents with some stuff. Basically, I spent the day with my dad which is just not pleasant for so many reasons. Sunday, Pork Chop spiked a fever. I'm generally pretty "crunchy" and figure that the fever is the body's natural defense mechanism and serves a purpose so I'm not quick to medicate but Pork Chop gets febrile seizures and no matter how many doctors tell me they're more scary than dangerous, when you see your baby's eyes roll back in his head while his face turns blue, Motrin seems like a really good thing. When Squirt gets a fever, I strip him down and give him lots of love. When

What is wrong with me???
So I haven't been around for a while. I've really just felt like I wanted to be alone. I haven't even felt like writing. Well, maybe that's not true. I feel like a balloon lately. When the balloon is inflated, there's this incredible pressure inside...enough that it stretches and shapes the balloon...but so much pressure that the tiniest little prick will make the whole thing explode. The least little opening and that massive pressure will escape unstoppably leaving a deflated, deformed, empty little shell on the floor. Of course, that's after the loud and spectacular pop. On one hand, I need that release. I want to open the floodgates and let it all out. On the other hand, I'm scared to de

Probably overthinking...
I've been giving a lot of thought to the relationship with FG lately. The thing I keep coming back to is that the way things are right now is just fine with me. I'm not sure that it's good for the boys to be as wrapped up in the relationship as they are, but I'm not really sure what to do about it. They love FG and he loves them. He's the best male role model they've got right now and he's a good one. For the most part, I'm happy with the way things are between us. When I get stressed out is when I start thinking about changing things...either stepping it up a notch or backing off.I have a hard time picturing myself growing old with FG. I just can't see it in my mind. The only p