Probably overthinking...
I've been giving a lot of thought to the relationship with FG lately. The thing I keep coming back to is that the way things are right now is just fine with me. I'm not sure that it's good for the boys to be as wrapped up in the relationship as they are, but I'm not really sure what to do about it. They love FG and he loves them. He's the best male role model they've got right now and he's a good one. For the most part, I'm happy with the way things are between us. When I get stressed out is when I start thinking about changing things...either stepping it up a notch or backing off.I have a hard time picturing myself growing old with FG. I just can't see it in my mind. The only p

Deprogramming
There's a lot I need to write about but I don't feel like writing a book tonight so I'll just vent for a minute.This was Ex's weekend. The Writer was supposed to be in town this weekend. I haven't heard from him for a week again. He called me last weekend to check in quickly and asked me to call him later that night so we could catch up. Since then he hasn't answered my calls or texts and I haven't exactly been stalking him. If he calls me, I'll talk (business only...no personal details) but if he doesn't, I'm not going to lose sleep over it. I still have my doubts about the accusations against him (it's really hard to explain without going into all the sordid details) but I'm a

My head's about to explode!!!
I so need to be working this morning but right now it's not looking good.A mutual friend of mine and FG called me this morning. I figured out a long time ago that everything I say to her goes directly back to FG and vice versa so I try to limit our conversations. Anyway, I've ignored several calls from her lately but accidentally answered this morning.I tried to get her off the phone telling her I had to work but she wouldn't let go. Finally she got to the point. She wanted to know what was going on with me and said that FG has been really worried about me lately. I told her I've just had a lot on my mind and the he knows about all of it but I can't talk about it now

Blah
Thanks for all the comments on my last couple of posts. I've been feeling kind of blah about the whole mess.I've kind of been retreating into myself and still don't really feel like talking about any of it. I haven't heard from the Writer since Thursday afternoon which is highly unusual so I'm just letting it go. I had told myself that I was going to be too busy to talk to him over the weekend anyway to give myself time to sort things out in my head. Still, I expected him to call or text or e-mail or something...he's just disappeared and that's strange for him.The boys were with Ex this weekend and Friday night I had 4 offers for things to do but I just felt like bei

Why do people hurt each other?
I'm generally a pretty friendly and outgoing person. I talk to people easily and while I can sometimes be a little slow to open up, once I do, I don't hold back. I try to trust people and assume that people are inherently good. I don't think I will ever understand people though. Why do people use, manipulate, and otherwise hurt each other? What ever happened to the golden rule?A while back, when I had first begun talking to the Writer, I heard some things about him in a rather indirect way. These were things that certainly raised some red flags, but it was all little more than rumor and gossip and speculation. I did a good bit of research about him and the person who relayed the