The Underbelly of Humanity aka Adultfriendfinder.com

If you are an adult and exicted to see New Moon you are a moron
(If you are under 18 this doesn’t apply to you. Everyone expects you to have horrible taste when it comes to pop culture. Your mom had it. Your mother’s mother had it. It is just a fact of life. Now go paint tear drops on something.) Last year when Twilight came out I wrote a blog entitled “If you are an adult and excited to see Twilight you are an idiot”. Over the year since that abortion of a film came out things have changed. The world has been taken over by “sexy vampires” in fact I think every show in the CW lineup next year is going to involve dif

Ranking the Celebrity Deaths of 2009
Usually I take celebrity deaths mourn for about twenty-five seconds and then move on with my life. Of course other times I have gone the other way and carried on like they were the greatest events ever, like when Anna Nicole Smith died. We lost a few celebrities this year. One guy that molested children and owned a chimp…  then there was some other people that did some stuff. All of them though couldn’t hold a torch to a man… no a legend… that we lost over the weekend.  (Except may

The Films of Roland Emmerich – A Deep Critical Analysis
This weekend the latest film by auteur Roland Emmerich, 2012, was released.  As usual, the film is a brilliant, multidimensional rumination on various aspects of modern mankind as it looks into the mirror at itself, puzzling over the big questions: why are we here, is love a selfish emotion, how many CGI effects can be stuffed into a two and a half hour borefest?  To honor this epic, thinking-man’s director, here are detailed analyses of all of his most important works to date.  But be forwarned: these critiques dig even deeper than the films themselves.   Independence Day – 1996

I need to cater to a younger audience
Throughout this week I have been studying who reads this blog, who I am friends with on Facebook, and who follows me on Twiter. The one conclusion I arrived at is that everyone is old and will probably being dying at some point in the future. You dying does not help me out. That means less traffic, less fame, and me one step further away from making a sex tape with Carrie Prejean entitled, “We All Mistakes: Breast Implants, Sex Tapes, and Screwing Bobby Finstock are all Christian-like”. In order to prevent the slide that could happen I have decided to take matters into my own hands and copy the strategy of Saturday Night Live and the Country Music Awards to attract a younger a

Snitches Get Stitches
One thing that I learned while growing up is that you never snitch on people. One of my “friends” in high school ratted out a few of my friends and I when we were pulling a practical joke (or causing massive damage depending on your point of view) and I haven’t talked to them in 14 years. The philosophy of “snitches get stitches” has been hard wired into urban society for years. Music, movies, and television (check out “the Wire”) all have basically enforced the “snitches get stitches” logic. Instead of don’t rat people out it has turned into there will be repercussions if you rat someone out. Or as someone on Springer would say, “cut a bitch”.