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A sarcastic, foul-mouthed look at raising three children.
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Jennifer Peters-Ahnb...
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Preteens Toddlers and Newborns, Oh My!

English - Kids, Life, Cussing
http://preteenstoddlersandnewbornsohmy.blogspot.com/
Preteens Toddlers and Newborns, Oh · 2M ago

Hawt Geekery

I'm a dork. You all knew that, but I wanted to remind you, just in case you had forgotten and were blown away by this post. So me = dork. We're good.One recent obsession has been the ultimate in hipster geekery, the divine Dr. Who. I love this show so much I tried to talk my husband into a Tardis wr
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Preteens Toddlers and Newborns, Oh · 2M ago

Mmmmmmm, Chemicals.

My love of coffee and half & half is well documented. I like my coffee to resemble my husband, strong, creamy and sweet. You can't get the same flavor or mouth feel from milk. I've tried. A lot. Yes, I meant to sound dirty. You're welcome.I'm a lot quieter about my love of creamer. It's my shameful
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Preteens Toddlers and Newborns, Oh · 3M ago

Screenless

This month's Family Fun featured an article about limiting your children's screen time. This has been a challenge for us, for lo these many years. There have been days when the tv comes on at 6:00 am and isn't turned off until midnight. Not good, I'm led to believe.In the article, the author put all
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Preteens Toddlers and Newborns, Oh · 3M ago

Publishing Companies Screw The Local Librarian

As I've stated before, one of the many thinks I LOVE about my e-reader is the ability to check books out from the library without actually going to the library. That has suddenly changed. The following announcement greeted me as I went to see what was available:Sadly, unlike a regular person, a libr
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Preteens Toddlers and Newborns, Oh · 3M ago

In The Mind Of The Mental Midget *UPDATED*

*Showering* I love command hooks. Except there's no way to hang my razor. Hmmm. Command should make toothbrush/razor hangers. I would buy the shit outta those! Maybe they do! I should check their website! Or Amazon! YEAH! I'm gonna do that right after I get dressed! Wow. This feels deja vuey. I wo
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Preteens Toddlers and Newborns, Oh · 3M ago

Why Valentine's Day is a Shitty Holiday and Chocolate Cherry Cake

Fuck Valentine's Day. Seriously. I'm out. Done. No more. Cupid can kiss my fat, dimply ass. I didn't even get lucky and I'm married. Isn't that one of the sweet marriage perks? Guaranteed sweaty monkey lovin' on February 14th? Maybe that's why I'm crabby.I planned. I decorated. I downloaded recipes.
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Preteens Toddlers and Newborns, Oh · 3M ago

Shit People Say To Nook Users

I jumped on the e-reader train about a year ago. I had resisted, siting all the typical reasons people do. I love books, wouldn't be the same without the feel, the smell, etc. etc. etc.I'm here to tell smug little bibliophiles to shut the hell up. I'm sick of hearing your shit.Yes, it is an e-reader
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Preteens Toddlers and Newborns, Oh · 3M ago

My Baby Thinks He's Spiderman.

Dinner tends to be raucous event here at Chez PTN. We get through the meal, but we have a tendency to linger, talking, joking, being goofy and laughing. It's pretty awesome. The other night,for some forgotten reason, the "rock on" hand symbol entered the revelry. I don't remember how. I've slept sin
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Preteens Toddlers and Newborns, Oh · 4M ago

I'm Getting Political. Everybody Duck.

The conversation sidebar on Facebook is my downfall. I'm a total eavesdropper. I love looking at the conversations others are having. But every so often, I see a conversation I want to participate in and that's just not cool. Argh. It kills me. Today, I happened on just such a conversation. An acqua
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Preteens Toddlers and Newborns, Oh · 4M ago

Shut Up And Give Me A Euphemism For Penis

This writing shit is harder than it looks, guys. I got questions, many of them so dumb-ass I could score a place on Jersey Shore. You know, if I dropped a hundred pounds and spray tanned myself into marmalade. But really. How long is too long? Insert erection joke here.If I keep going at this rate,
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