10 Reasons You Should Be Watching Women's Basketball

The correct URL for my blog.

I’m Going to Vote, but I am Still Mad at You
Dear Everybody Running for Everything, At this point the best way to earn my vote is to promise to propose legislation to make all those damn automated phone calls telling me who I should vote for illegal. Thank you for your time. Sincerely, Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah ps – Stop calling my house after 8:30 PM, I have little kids. I hate you all.

On Handwriting
This is for Beth. Feel free to play along.

Quitters Never Win
Last  night I dreamed that I started smoking again. It was such a realistic dream that I can tell you exactly how many cigarettes I smoked. Three. I woke up feeling terrible about myself. When will this stop? My Mom quit smoking in 1980. It has been almost 30 years and I remain under strict instructions that whenever the doctors tell her that she is going to die (she is fine now, she has been telling us this for years) I am t

I Am Not A Crook
I am not a criminal. I rarely break the law. Sure, I occasionally exceed the speed limit but other than traffic offenses 90% of the laws I have broken in my life have involved under-aged drinking. It has been a while since I have done anything that could get me in trouble with the law. So why, why, why do I get nervous when I have to pass through the security gates leaving the library? It isn’t like I am stealing free books. Just me then?

Hey, Look Over There!
I am gushing about my wine tasting at Shafer on The Whinery. David Cross is bragging about snorting cocaine near Barack Obama (from MamaPop). And I am looking for a job.