Help Yourself Puny Zero Slave

Gatlinburg Is My Bitch

Earn Your Cub Scout Merit Badge in Anger

The NRA: Quietly Killing People
At some point, you got to see what is in front of your face.Abraham Lincoln once said that if ten people make a comment about your tail, then you might want to take a look behind you. That's good advice. The Angry Czeck beeches you, crazy Gun Advocates, to take a look behind you. You won't have to look far; only a few days.What will it take before you concede that the policies you continue to champion, strengthen and defend are really fucked up?There will be many debates that arise from the carnage at Fort Hood. I suspect that many gun advocates will declare some kind of "Musl

A Brief (but Penetrating) Obituary to Long Copy Blogs
Recently, the ad agency I work for conducted a focus group comprised of teenagers. The topic centered around a website geared to their demographic. The comments made were enlightening.Many said that the site featured "too much copy." More expressed a preference for added video. One respondent suggested that we should incorporate a video that would "read aloud the copy on the website."That rusty, creaking sound you hear is the curtain being drawn on the Angry Czeck's final act.Too bad, I'm not pulling the plug on The

Hell, for the Hell of it.
"I don't know much about the devil, except that he is red." – Uncle Bob*Two nice teenagers – a boy and a girl – were on their way to the lake. The boy was behind the wheel, carefully navigating the winding country road. Rather bluntly, the girl vocally regrets that she had failed to attend church earlier that morning."Gosh, I did," said the boy, not accusingly. Just stating a fact."Well, at least I'm saved," said the girl, but she seemed uneasy. The boy sensed his friend's distress."How about

Want to see my new web site?
If you've heard of the Internet, then you've probably heard of peopleofwalmart.com. Yeah, sure, it's awesome.The premise is simple: post pictures of hillbillies who shop at Wal-Mart, write a pithy headline and caption, and then we laugh. An easy formula to execute, but an even easier formula to duplicate.Listen, I loathe Wal-Mart as much as the next guy. But is it really fair to point out the social miscreants who are just innocently shopping for bargains? He who isn't guilty of wearing a camouflage tube-top throw the f

You wish bigfoot and death panels were real
I hear things. Wacky, paranoid, hysterical, condescending, insulting things that used to be confined to the homeless guy who tried to shake me down for $4.25.What I hear most is, “We got to take back our country!” This implies that, somehow, our way-of-life has been stolen from our grasps. We’ve been bamboozled! Hoodwinked! Flimflammed! And as usual, it’s not our fault! Well, I have terrific news for you folks: the country is still right here! Look outside. It hasn’t moved an inch. We’re still consuming enormous amounts of calories. We’re still