The Bavarian Orange Order

Right, I missed the start of the show and it's been a hoor of a day, so don't expect me to be in the best of form this evening. Let's catch up on the bits I've seen so far:HungaryDepeche Mode wannabes. Why anyone would want to be Depeche Mode is beyond me.AlbaniaA gypsy lady, according to German TV.

Today saw one of the truly great events in the Ulster's social calendar - the "Stormont Festival of Dance, Mime and Poetry". Sadly, the mime events had to be abandoned after the agenda was released. First, Gerry Kelly announced that in his act he would mime the detonation of a bomb, a bank robbery a

We ride with joyMaligned, abused, robbed, oppressed, discriminated against and lied about - those hard words just about sum up all the collective historical experience of Craigavon, Lurgan And Portadown (CLAP). And boy, are we sick and tired of it - but what are we going to do about it? We are going

Schloer - everyone knows Ulster's favourite tipple. But how did it come into being and what is the story behind it's meteoric rise to global domination? Read on to find out more!BeginningsThe year is 1655, Cromwell's forces of socialist enlightenment and justice have vanquished all the evil, royalis

Hi there, it's me - Iron Mike Nesbitt, the much-loved and respected new leader of the Ulster Unionist Party! Following my election to the best job in British politics, I was amazed to discover that as the leader of the UUP, I was automatically also the President of the Stormont Body Building Society

Before today I'd have had to admit ignorance on that topic, but now, thanks to a mobile phone app I can reveal the truth about out leaders' grey matter.The app concerned scans photos of individuals and then tells you their IQ. There was no shock when I found out who the brainiest is, see for yourse

It's a known fact that Ireland's politicians are all buck ugly - apart from Mary Lou McDonald and Sammy Wilson, of course. So I set myself a challenge earlier in the week, namely to merge photos of these political ugly ducklings with celebrities in order to arrive at a set of beautiful swans. I thin

It's a little known fact that most of today's Unionist politicians are hard-line communists who are committed to creating a workers' paradise right here in our wee Northern Ireland. They dream of an equal society in which each citizen displays a comradely respect for the state, other people, the bor