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I am a 27 year old rural Iowan with an arsenal of true yet unbelievable stories which include warped yet subconsciously common thoughts and observations pertaining to the shitstorms I encounter frequently. With regular appearances from super-dumbass, Rick "The Mullet Man" Suave.
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Joshua Swafford
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The Chronicles of Rico

English - Humor, Funny, Humour
http://ricoswaff.com
The Chronicles of Rico · 3M ago

My Dad Charged Me $1100 to Shovel My Sidewalk

My dad. If you’ve followed this blog in the past, you have read about him before.  You’ve read in the story, “Feed the Horses” about how he became so angry with me when I was younger that he was forced to finish his lectures by calling me a dumbass and demanding that my brother, Justin [...]
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The Chronicles of Rico · 6M ago

Add The Chronicles of Rico Page to Facebook

So, I finally created a Facebook page for my site. If you read this blog, feel free to click the “like” button on the right side of the page. You can also click on the little Facebook page bar thingy that should show up on the bottom of the page. I already sent some invites [...]
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The Chronicles of Rico · 7M ago

To this Day, I Wonder How Many People Saw My Balls that Night

I have no fashion sense. I won’t go into detail about this because I have an idea for a future blog entry where I will disclose all the no-brainer fashion “no-no’s” I have been guilty of committing in the past. I went to Loras College in Dubuque, IA.  I partied a lot with one of [...]
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The Chronicles of Rico · 9M ago

No Offense, but You’re Good (I’ve Been Feeling Older)

I am 28 years old and lately I have been feeling kind of old. Not necessarily “I am scared to lift my wrinkly buns off this rocking chair because I am fearful of crapping in my Depends because my colon doesn’t work properly” old. I feel “all these dudes wearing these straight-billed hats propped to
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The Chronicles of Rico · 10M ago

Ridin’ Ghetto Part 3

Some of you may know that I have been driving a yellow 2004 Dodge Neon for the past couple years. I have referenced this car in a few entries, most notably “Ridin’ Ghetto Part 2,” “These Jerkoffs Who Constantly Drive by Swimming Pools” and recently, “In the Past 2 Weeks, I Have Almost Hit 2 [...]
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The Chronicles of Rico · 10M ago

Meet The Hamburglar

Meet the newest addition of our family... The Hamburglar. He is a pretty cute little kitty, isn't he? Well, don't let his physical appearance deceive you. At the moment this picture was taken, The Hamburglar was probably brainstorming ways he could successfully bomb a hospital. If Satan ex
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The Chronicles of Rico · 11M ago

In the Past 2 Weeks I Have Almost Hit 2 Cows With My Car

So a couple weeks ago, I was driving on a paved side-road with my tunes on blast. I had just driven through the tiny town of Morning Sun, IA when I arrived at a sharp turn. Immediately after entering this sharp turn, I noticed a huge figure in the middle of the road and I [...]
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The Chronicles of Rico · 12M ago

Grandma and Grandpa Earthquake Buns and Their Grandson, Big Fat Rico

I wrote this post approximately 2 years ago. Only a few people read it because it was before I actually knew that in order to gain readers, you have to actually take steps to promote your site. I didn’t realize that once you create a website, that it doesn’t just promote itself. This post was [...]
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The Chronicles of Rico · 1Y ago

Strangely, I Wrote About the Thought of Macho Man Randy Savage Dying Before it Actually Happened

So unless you reside in a cave, you have probably heard that The Macho Man Randy Savage died a couple days ago. Well, maybe that is a bit extreme. I am sure there are some desert and jungle-dwellers that haven’t heard the news yet, but oh they will hear it eventually. You know what is [...]
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The Chronicles of Rico · 1Y ago

The Justin Bieber “Beliebers” Want to Impale Me

So yesterday I checked my email and discovered that I had approximately 50 messages from YouTube. All of them were described in the subject as being replies to comments that I had left on various videos, which I found odd because I haven’t commented on a YouTube video in a year or so. When I [...]
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