A note to the addicts on Intervention

Seriously, they never learn

Greenfield Village
I spent my childhood (years 7 through 13) growing up approximately 45 miles northwest of Detroit.  Technically, I lived in Brighton, but I went to Howell schools until age 11, when my parents moved to the next town over, Hartland.  There, I stayed for a year and a half or so, until my dad dropped the bombshell that he was moving us to Chicago.  There are a lot of things that remind me of my childhood in Michigan, which, for all intents and purposes, was incredibly happy.  For a person who has seen her fair share of "tragedy," nothing incredibly bad ever happened when I was living in Michigan.  I was too young to date, thus eliminating the string of shit

Deja Vu? No, I'm Probably Just Stresed.
I have vivid dreams.  Most nights, I have four-hour movies that play out in my mind, which keep me completely entertained as my body recuperates from the day.  Like most people who remember their dreams (I recently discovered many people don't.  So. sad.), I notice a lot of recurring themes and plot lines.  Dreams all have some weird subconscious meaning, so I decided to investigate.  For instance, last night, I had a dream that I was back in college and I somehow had nine assignments for different classes all due in a short period.  In fact, I had forgotten to do, like, three of them.  This theme is a recurring one in my dreams,

An Open Letter to My "Assistant"
Dear Assistant: Everyone I know who doesn't have an "assistant" (the more PC term for secretary) thinks it's awesome that I have someone to do my work for me.  As a side note, they also think it's awesome that I have my own office and get to court, both of which suck royally.  At any rate, in order to live up to the expectations people I know have for you, let's keep the following things in mind, shall we?: 1.  When you tell me you can't find a file, make very sure it's not where it's supposed to be.  As an example, the other day you told me you looked EVERY WHERE for a certain file and were not able to find it, assuming it was somewhere behind

Happy Columbus Day, Jerks
Today is Columbus Day.  It's Federal holiday, which means banks, the post office, and courts all are closed.  This also means that a shit ton of people have the day off.  Being a lawyer who practices in the private sector means that I DO NOT have the day off and am sitting in my office, which is too cold, billing my ass off. Because I'm bitter that so many of my friends are nestled in under the covers on this gray day, I decided to point out that celebrating Columbus Day is stupid. Everyone who went to school knows the little rhyme:  In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.  Great.  So what exactly is all the hype about, anyway?

Kudos, Nicole Eggert
Remember her? She was on the original cast of Baywatch.  Men lusted after her.  She was an object of lust. And then she kind of disappeared. Then she reappeared in this video: Nicole Eggert is BACK IN BAYWATCH! from Nicole Eggert So, normally I hate these, "I'm bigger, deal with it" videos from celebrities, namely because they don't actually embrace their weight.  Instead, they get fat and then diet or have photos air