Blog Name:	The Girls First Love: Oh, I Do MIss You
Url:	http://www.ohimissyou.com
Language:	English
Topics:	loss, frist love
Description:	From the moment they began to communicate, through their writings, she almost immediately fell for him. His writing was peaceful in nature. He wrote of things he knew much about--- in other words he was an expert in many things. But this, this genius of his was not what kept her drawing closer to him one little inch at a time. It was his demeanor. Most of their communications were written, but there were those rare moments, those glimpses of the physical that made her flutter. His presence made her want to take his hand and share together this amazing and great and wonderful place we call earth. She sensed his desire to leap into those risks that makes us the special human beings that we are. And he picked up on her need for stability. One would think a match made in heaven. Both people possessing the characteristics that the other so desire. The love was instanenous. The ability to melt into one another's bodies was a miracle the Girl never thought would happen to her. She was, for the first time in her life, in real love. She loved the man, but God, she loved his soul with equal fervor. She wanted to give him everything, but she had nothing to give. She felt inadequate. Of any man who she ever wanted to give and give and give to, but she was incapable of giving the many things he gave to her. She did her best, but it was not ever to be good enough. Oh, the sad reality is that the Girl has no excuses ---- I mean to say, she has a million excuses, but excuses mean nothing when it comes to one's human emotion. She knows a couple of things: she loved a man like she never knew she would be capable of feeling love for. She knows that the human physical body and comparison between two very different physicality's mean absolutely nothing when it comes to what the heart has in mind for the soul. It is love. It is love. It is beautiful. It is perfect. When the Girl did what she did, the night she made her decision to leave this world behind, there were two people on her mind, in her soul. "Goodbye, she thought, it would have been nice had things been different, had Christ's tenant of forgiveness been attainable, it would have been nice not only to get to know you better to strengthen anything we might have had by forgiving one another." Then she has his face, the way he would lay next to her, stroke her hair, and say some of the most beautiful things that her ears had ever had the wonder of hearing. She remembered their first date --- she remembered how he dictated the first few lines of a poem that he said reminded he of her. She remembered as he said the words her eyes started to blur with those kinds of tears that are a mixture of joy and sadness. She was in love. She was in love. It was the first time and maybe even the last --- which is okay because she knows she will never find the kind of man who possesses such compassion again. She will never find the kind of man who will stir in her the kind of joy that causes her to want to fly and simultaneously understand the sadness that he could see inside of her ----he could see inside of her and he still loved her. He was the last person she remembered before it was almost her time. Perhaps his was the last face she remembered, the last soul she could feel, the last hand she could feel holding hers because he was not only her first, but because aside from all of the angry things said, she loved him, oh, she loved him. And,she always would. Love, how sweet it is. Even in the worst of the worst, love finds its way into the heart and offers a sweet little reprieve.
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