Gratitude
Thought I'd try today to think about what I'm grateful for that is a direct result of losing my husband. This is a little thought experiment designed to see what happens when you take the worst thing that could happen to you and try to make it into something really lovely and grand and life-affirming. People always talk about the good, the growth, the spiritual awakenings that can arise from loss. Can I find good in the death of a good man? Of my good man? Can I find something good and special lurking here in the darkest room of my existential home? Is there a diamond or two to be found amidst the ashes of Ken's death? You undoubtedly know already, as I do, that the answer is indeed, yes.

Loss Can Make You a Little Crazy!
Writing about loss isn't about dwelling in pain or staying stuck. It's about releasing deep feelings so that you can move forward. I write this Heartbreak Diary of my own publicly, to encourage others to write about their feelings. My goal is to introduce as many people as possible to the idea that WRITING ABOUT FEELINGS IS HEALTHY. It's not necessary to write a public blog, or even share your words, although if that feels good, do it. Writing about feelings is simply an effective, free, easy method to improve both emotional and physical health. Your body needs exercise. Your emotions do too. Write it out...you'll feel better.Loss has made m

Toleration, Sufferance, Endurance
Toleration. Sufferance.1. Patient endurance, especially of pain or distress.Feel like bursting out of my skin.Maybe I already have,And there's nothing left.Can't stand it anymoreThis uncomfortable spot.Sometimes too cold, sometimes too hot.How long do I have to live this way?How long must I wait?Itching. Painful. Sore.Edges raw.Healing takes infinitely longerThan I knew.But then,this is my first major catastrophe.It hurts everywhereI am exposed.I'd give anything to be elbow to elbow with you again.In quiet consultati

What's too painful? Write about it.
I don't think anyone would argue that there are certain activities known to be good for your health, like aerobic exercise, yoga, meditation, swimming, or stretching. I'd like writing to be added to the list. Research has shown that writing 15 minutes a day, about how you feel, promotes mental and physical well-being. If you've suffered a loss, it can be really cathartic to put your sad, angry, bitter, resentful, mournful, disbelieving feelings into words.And who would argue that sometimes doing healthful activities can be painful? Ever run a 5K? Ever tried standing in the warrior pose for a couple of minutes? Ever stretch out your hamstrings? Ever try to sit still and

Excitement in the Unknown
When I was younger I used to be so much braver about launching off into the unknown than I am today.The death of my husband and of my married life has left me, at times, tentative, timid, with plenty of worries about my future. What will happen to me? How will I manage? Where am I going? What will happen when my children are grown if I am still on my own? Who is here for me? How can I re-start my career? Who the hell am I now as this single mother? If I let it, fear of the unknown will take right over.Married life has many facets. One of them is predictability, at least after you've been married for several years. When I was married, our partners