I can't go back
She's gone. The question of the day today was, "Are you coming back?" When asked this, I feel my body go rigid. My thoughts go to the final weeks of attending where everything is crystal clear. The putdowns, the thoughtless remarks, the absolute power that this church gave to one woman, who was said to be Godly. As people sat by, listening...literally eating up her words without a remark. That was the end for me. Yes, one problem with this church is gone. Yes, it makes me feel like I could visit this church. But come back? No. It's lost to me. When people sit by and let a preacher say things without standing up and saying that it's wrong...I can't trust these people anymore.

New Moon Review...I tell it like I see it.
I should preface this entire review with the thought that I wasn't a huge fan of the first movie Twilight after I saw it the first time, but thought it was better the second time around. Not sure why, maybe it was Rob's face that did it for me...but I've watched it several times since then and have enjoyed it. However, I am NOT a Twilighter in the fact that I get so dopey eyed over the looks of the characters that I don't expect more from a movie...especially with fans that dole out a shit load of money to see something good.Several weeks before the movie, I had watched the previews and had a hopeful attitude. Werewolves looked decent, seemed to follow the storyline, etc. I

Conveying the bigger picture
Yesterday was a tough one. I knew Corrin had done something and was waiting to talk to him when he got home. He admitted it (which, I have to give him credit for) but didn't see why what he did was wrong. After discussing it in length (read screaming at each other) I think he finally understood the point I was making.Parenthood. Where you swallow your anger and try to get through the point you are trying to teach them. It's not all about us vs. them, it's about teaching them right from wrong. Teenagers have the us vs. them mentality, and I try so hard to work around that obstacle before laying down the laws of the world. Parents know nothing. They know everything. Conve

Hourglass
Card shopping has become an extremely hard thing to do when I'm buying one for my mom. I feel as if I should go shop for them around midnight so no one is around to see me bawl my eyes out. Every card I looked at made my eyes tear up, and I looked like a ninny. I picked out a card for my mom that essentially said, "what would I do without you" because it's STILL on my mind. What would my life be like without her in it?? She cried while reading it, because she wondered, as I did, if she'd make it to her next birthday. I cried while buying it, because the words rang so true.No card ever says it all. There are no words to say how thankful I am that I have another year with h

Wet pillow
Woke up crying this morning. Not sure what is up with that. I mean, I'm aware of what is going on in my life, but since I usually deal with things with anger, I was surprised to find tears. It made me think about why I'm reacting the way I am.Am I hurt about it all? Maybe a bit. I thought I was more relieved than anything else, but I think not knowing what the outcome is is starting to get to me. I fear a lack of closeness and I've got to get over that. It's interesting that I've always blamed one person for this entire fiasco but now see the blame also lies with someone else. I realize we weren't as close as I thought we were, and that realization is what hurts. I reth