Dear You (you know who you are)
Before starting this lovely letter, I want to point all my readers to this lovely post. It made my day. Ahem. Dear You, For the love of all that is holy, get your shit together. How old are you, 32 for christsakes? Stop using our friendship (we don’t have one) me as an ego boost. I don’t exist to hang out with you when your girlfriend is away, or when you’re not sure that you want to be with her, or when you want to do mildly infidelitous things. Doing this makes you a twatwaddle, and turns me into a twatwaddle by association. Grow.the.fuck.

I need to remember this.
No matter how I turn it around in my head, it comes to this: if a person cares about a relationship, that person stays. The person who cares doesn’t give up so easily. If a person gets angry, he or she can be angry and not abandon. He or she may need to step away to get a clear head, or to not say something hurtful or stupid… but the relationship is valued, so there isn’t a quality of physical or emotional abandonment to the retreat. The same thing goes for feeling hurt. Painful emotions aren’t a good enough excuse for checking out. When I define love as an action-state, all of this is very clear. When I fall back into thinking love is merely a

Old, Tired Solar Systems
I had an epiphany last night, while sitting at Dee’s, having a beer with a friend. I am the only one who can get rid of my Ambivalent Douchebag Orbit (henceforth referred to as ADO). ADO is defined as the set of not particularly irritating though not particularly endearing or entertaining set of men that don’t want to actually establish a friendship or relationship with me, but would rather appear once every few months via text messages or weird face-to-face encounters and then quickly disappear again, only to show up a few months later. I’ve been thinking about my ADO lately, as I just definitively ended a relationship with a person that would have qualified as an ADO membe

v., court·ed, cou...
v., court·ed, court·ing, courts. v.tr. To attempt to gain; seek: courting wealth and fame. To behave so as to invite or incur: courts disaster by taking drugs. To try to gain the love or affections of, especially to seek to marry. To attempt to gain the favor of by attention or flattery: a salesperson courting a potential customer. Zoology. To behave so as to attract (a mate). v.intr. To pursue a courtship; woo. Zoology. To engage in courtship behavior. idiom: pay court to To flatter with solicitous overtures in an attempt to obtain something or clear away antagonism. To seek someone’s love; woo.

Hmmmm.
two-thirty in the morning and my gas tank will be empty soon neon sign on the horizon rubbing elbows with the moon… ~Ani DiFranco, Untouchable Face Some things don’t change much. After an interesting evening, I re-read this post from last August. Yeah, it’s still true for me. So many thoughts…and yet it is time for bed. More to come tomorrow, methinks.