The Sweet Smell of Debt
Exciting but terrifying news: Dr G and I have purchased a house! Bloody hell. The happy dance of home ownership is somewhat restricted by the little financial shackles clamped round our ankles. Ahh, remember the days when a grown-up purchase was just a vibrator or a litre of very cheapest vodka. It's a great place; the same age as Dr G (36). I had to surrender my naive Great Australian Dream of a laundry room but it's in our favourite par

Citizen of the Dunny
Today I officially became a British citizen! I attended a ceremony at Dunfermline City Chambers, mouthing the words to God Save The Queen while seagulls squabbled outside. The Provost told us new inductees that we should be "proud of our achievement". But obtaining citizenship is not so much an achievement as a display of endurance and financial commitment. It's been 6.5 years and about £2,500 in Ho

You must be in good shape
I was moseying around Picardy, France earlier this week for a work trip. This warning sign in front of a bouncy castle was my personal highlight.

At a kitchenware shop in Keswick
Wonder how many dogs wander alone into this shop to buy a spatula only to have the lady shout at them, "Didn't you READ the SIGN?!"

Bitter Pill
I spent Sunday afternoon curled up on the couch, bowled over by cold and fever... or perhaps just the agony of Australia getting slaughtered by England in the cricket. ME:  I hate losing to England! GARETH:  Well, now you know what it's like to be Scottish! ME:  Yeah but, we actually had a chance!