Bungee
Call the cops, we’ve been burgled.The lowest of life forms have been creeping into our house, maybe when we’ve been out, maybe while we were asleep. They’ve been sneaking into our kitchen, our bedroom, any room where they can sniff out what they want. They find them, they take them, and they leave. Somewhere here in South Holland they stash their loot, somewhere there is a hidey hole or concealed shoebox containing the spoils of their thievery, their ill gotten treasure, the torn out pages of our calendars.Ordinarily the loss of a month or two wouldn’t concern me much

No pain, no name
It’s been a big few days in the world of a very little person.On the beautifully apt Friday the 13th last, ET received the H1N1 vaccination. A sore arm and plenty of normal movement activity later and everything is hunky dory. There have been no convulsions, no legs have fallen off, no hair has fallen out, and no-one has fallen into a coma, so I am delighted to announce that I don’t think that the vaccination is collective governmental syndicate plan to annihilate several generations of the human race. So, unless kiddo turns up with three ears or knuckles for knees, everyone can just shut up.

Stubbing toes on both left feet
The car seat on the floor has been talking to me.A chatty bugger too, so he is. Unsurprisingly most of our conversations revolve around the transportation of its future inhabitant. I’m not best pleased with the tone it takes either – ‘you’ll drop me you know’, ‘you’ll whack the baby’s head against the door frame walking through’, or ‘you’ll tip the baby out putting me in the car’.I firmly responded, and confidently assured him that none of those things would happen, but in the back of my mind all the while wagging my finger at a talking inanimate object, I kn

King & Queen of the dump
We planned it in advance.Three months of researching, testing, comparing, doubting, pricing, and pondering - right up until we decided to make our move. A decision which came just 24 hours before we carried out our Saturday morning attack.Motivational music was the order of the day on our way there, nerves were evident, but we were focussed. Bulbous drops of rain began to fall quicker on the windscreen as I turned the key in the car park, the engine falling quiet. In silence for one last moment we stared at our nemesis looming large before us.Figh

25
The wife squatter turned twenty five weeks old yesterday. By all accounts, it now weighs just short of 2lbs, or just under a kilo for those of you who are, well, Dutch.All the wee bugger’s organs are present and correct. I now have a fully qualified donor match! It’s kind of like having your own vegetable patch. I do jest of course, something I seemingly must explicitly express for those among us who’ve had transplants of their own of a humourous variety.Anyway, all the baby’s bits and pieces are in place, its skin doesn’t look like greaseproof paper anymore, and it