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You can take her home now... · 4M ago

Week 264- Funk the Family...

OK, so I think it’s fair to say that for the time being, I’ve hung up my festival Bardot top, wellies and unflattering cut off, camel toe-inducing denim shorts. I can’t really see myself spe...
You can take her home now... · 5M ago

Week 261- bad bras, baked beans and batteries for the Slendertone...

At what point do you stop blaming pregnancy for not fitting into any of your pre-children clothes?When they’ve turned one?When you go back to work?When they’re out of nappies?Or when they ar...
You can take her home now... · 6M ago

Week 257- day time discos, shit reviews and holidaying like its 1983...

I’ve just been on a holiday for four nights for eighty quid for a family of four.Let me recap. Four nights. Eighty quid. Four of us.That’s a fiver each a night. They say you get what you pay...
You can take her home now... · 6M ago

Week 254- marriage, Michael Jackson and Man in the Mirror...

I’m going to be 40 next year.I’m getting married in four months.I have two children under the age of six.I’m supposed to be a grown up.But something happens after a couple of beers on a nigh...
You can take her home now... · 7M ago

Week 253- eyeballs, A and E and our excellent NHS...

So- date night. Take away. Done. Bottle of wine. Done.Mind-numbing film that doesn’t involve too much thinking.Done and done.In fact the movie was so successfully dull that I nodded off half...
You can take her home now... · 7M ago

Week 252- bathrooms, B and Q and brilliant ideas...

You know how you have those moments when everything comes together and you feel all content and calm, and look at your family and home and think, yep, I’ve got this shit nailed?No. Me neithe...
You can take her home now... · 7M ago

Week 250- potties, poo and pissing on the table...

I had forgotten how 100% disgusting potty training it. I think it’s like birth. Your brain cancels out the pain; otherwise you’d insist that your child wears a nappy until they turn eighteen...
You can take her home now... · 8M ago

Week 248- tiny drunks, terrible twos and totally losing your shit...

Having small children is sometimes like living with a house full of drunks. The speed in which they change their opinions, or love you then think you’re a dick a moment later is incredible a...
You can take her home now... · 9M ago

Week 244- getting angry and using it...

This has been the most fearful and yet empowering few days to be a woman.We now have a hateful, dangerous misogynist in the most powerful position in the world. He has no respect for women, ...
You can take her home now... · 9M ago

Week 243- getting trashed, getting bitten and getting on the resolution train in week two...

You know when you have one of those calm Christmases where everything goes like clockwork, you feel relaxed and ready for the New Year, you make achievable, ambitious resolutions and start t...